time should probably find a new schtick

so I WENT TO SUNDAY PRACTICE, Y'ALL.  AND IT WAS MISERABLE.  It wasn't run by Anton, it was run by Captainness Flashback, and we had to do stuff like "do ten situps, then run over to the other side of the track and back. If you finish before a minute is up, you can rest.  Then do it four more times.  Then replace the situps with 5 pushups, do that five times, then do five burpees, do that five times."    MISERY AND LOATHING.

"Jog around the rink and then do squats and star jumps and box squats and other stuff THAT I HATE DOING ZOMFG."  I DON'T JOG.  JOGGING IS NOT NECESSARILY GOOD FOR YOU, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE THE KNEES OF A 95 YEAR OLD THAT ARE ESSENTIALLY POWDER.

I think the Powers That Be are questioning the whole Sunday practice thing, though.   I was asked by the A team coach yesterday while getting my headshot done what I think of the whole thing (I think my answer was "I hate it but it's not because of anything other than my inherent laziness").

ANYWAY.

time needs to start doing more planks

so if I had to describe my derby ability, I would say I'm a decent player with occasional flashes of brilliance. 

last night's flashes was the fact that I booty-blocked the jammer out of bounds and held her behind me for a good few seconds (on a power jam).  So that was a "yay me" moment.

during the warmup, at one point we had to grapevine around the track on our toe stops.  I did it fairly slowly, and then thought "let's see if I can do this faster" and pretty much FLEW around the track.  A few people were like "Damn, Queenie, that was awesome!"

I'll take it. 

Last night we were also talking about kids and Valentine's Day and marriage and whatnot, and a few of my teammates were completely FLABBERGASTED that I'm 39.  They thought I was 31, 32.  I'll take that as well.

time realizes it shouldn't stay up so late at night

0 for 3.  Sigh.  I WILL BEAT YOU, A TEAM WARMUP!

Other than that, it went okay.  I did a little bit better at one-on-one positional blocking, and we worked on some strategies for when the other team is on a power jam.  (at one point I just flung myself at the entering jammer, and knocked her down and out, but I also went down myself).  Another time I sort of took control of my team's blockers, saying "OKAY SOMEONE DO A BRIDGE NOW" while the jammer was pushing against my chest.  (I got a compliment from Captainness Awesome on that one.)

Then there was one point where I was jamming and just kept. getting.  knocked.  down.  My team's blockers were supposed to kind of guide me through the pack, and one of them yelled out "Queenie!" after I'd gotten knocked down for the eleventy billionth time, and I just lost my temper and screamed "WHAT?!?!?!?!?! [read: I AM DOWN HERE ON THE FLOOR FOR THE ELEVENTY BILLIONTH TIME WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, GODDAMMIT WHY AREN'T YOU HELPING ME BETTER]"

I really don't lose my temper that much (probably why I aced the interview section of the tryouts)

Roy and I have decided to resurrect the clothes hanger recumbent bike from the attic.  (I KNOW!) Our coach wants us to do at least one session of interval training a week outside of practice, and since I HATE HATE HATE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE jogging, I think cycling is the way to go for now.

I've given it a little bit of thought, and what I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate the most about jogging is the monotonous BORINGNESS of it all.  I'm running on a skating rink, I'm running outside, blah blah blah this is dull when is something exciting going to happen?!  One of my leaguemates said she goes trail running, which might be enough of a perk (I could mix it up with Orienteering, which I did when I was younger and loved.  I really want to do the Run For Your Lives race in August because it looks totally AWESOME.)

time realizes it's February already, freaks out

So our first bout of the travel season is coming up!  We're having a closed scrimmage in Syracuse on the 16th.  Lookin' forward to it.

Guess what?  I didn't go to practice on Sunday.  SHOCKER, I KNOW.  Sigh.  If it were up to me (and, well, it's not), I would change the theme of Sunday practices from "workout" to "something more productive."  The Sunday practices are never really very well attended (about 11 people at yesterday's) and I think if it wasn't UGH DEATH PACES attendance might be higher.  But like I said, it's not up to me.

Yesterday afternoon the Head Ref had a rules reading meeting at his house - just reading through the rule book and answering questions and whatnot.  I Skyped in and am glad I did.

time marches and pouts

Didn't go to Sunday practice because....I'm a lazy slug.  But I think we all knew that already.

Practice last night went pretty well. One-on-one positional blocking was frustrating because people would just blast by me. I need to say "HEY I CAN'T DO THIS AT ALL CAN YOU DUMB IT DOWN FOR ME AT LEAST A LITTLE K THX BYE."

I did have an awesome moment where I totally blocked the jammer trying to jump the apex - my hip was RIGHT THERE where she intended to land.

Not going to practice tonight 'cause it's Roy's birthday.  HE'S AN OLD MAN NOW, but that means that I'm getting old too WAAAAH.

and time crunches onward

So last night was another scrimmage preceded by more exercise crap.  At the advice of one of my leaguemates I had a tuna fish sandwich for dinner and I didn't puke or anything!  Yay!

I performed a combination of craptacular and pretty damn cool last night.  Craptacular 'cause I got a bunch of stupid penalties, pretty damn cool because while I didn't jump the apex, I took a pretty big step over it.  I also *almost* got the jammer with a real big hit just as I was about to go out of play.   Ah well.

ok, new goal

make it through an A team practice (or even more specifically, an A team warmup) without puking.

So far, I'm 0 for 2.

Sigh.

After that it was ok, though.  There were some things I did pretty well on (getting pushed into a jammer, knocking her out of bounds and then tomahawking on a dime) and things I did craptastically on (one-on-one FRICKIN' BLOCKING WHY CAN'T I DO YOU GODDAMMIT) and things I did meh on (pretty much everything else).

As we were leaving, Captainness Awesome (who's captain of the A team) told me I did well, and while my immediate inner thought was "she's just saying that because we were both walking out at the same time and needed to say something to me", I realized "no, she probably had something to do with getting me voted 'Most Improved', so she must think I actually did relatively well" and between that and my general exhaustion and overwhelmedness, I pretty much cried the whole way home.

And now I'm rotating an icepack between my left knee (something is not right with my kneepad; I must fix it before Thursday) and my sciatic nerve (the fact that it's hurting now reminded me that I haven't really had issues with it in years; back after Maverick was born I had constant trouble with it) and the toes on my right foot (I did something screwy at the end of one drill and they've been OW OW OW ever since).

Whee.....?......!