T minus 5 days

Last night was my first night officially bench managing.  (Last week it was just a "the first five people on the bench go out" deal.)   

I hadn't bench managed in years - I think the last time I did it was in, like, 2009.  Derby was so different then!  We had people assigned to each particular position!  You play back, you play outside and so on!  It was a lot easier now - just send four people out and they'll figure out where to play.  

At any rate, once I figured out a system that worked for me (one that did not involve calling a lineup that was already out on the track), it went well.  Several people, including the coach, came up to me afterwards and told me what a good job I'd done.  So that's encouraging.

Unfortunately I won't be able to bench manage the team's next bout, as it's three days after my surgery and I will be in a drug-enduced haze or something.

pre-op appointment

(I'm going to be twins with Al Roker!) 

the guy was impressed with my range of motion and strength (yay me?) and said he thought I would be a good candidate for a full recovery.

He also had me try on the sling I'm going to have to wear.  Um.  Four to six weeks* with my right arm strapped across my chest; whee!  Not sure how I'm going to operate a computer; although I'm left handed I use a mouse right-handed.  Whee.

*he said that the number of sutures they have to use to fix the tear will determine how long I have to be in the sling.  

So there's a bout on Saturday - I don't think I mentioned that - (my team isn't playing).  I'm not going, though, doing something with the family.  One of my leaguemates has stepped up to be Box Office Manager, and she's done this before, so I am very grateful to her.   

The night before there's an open Retro Skate at the venue, and I'm going.  I'll skate, too - it'll be my last chance for a long, long while.  I figure as long as no one knocks me down, I'll be ok.  

so it's been a while.

My shoulder has been doing a lot better, and I was like "OMG maybe it got misdiagnosed and I can still play and everything'll be okay!"  

Then yesterday I was reading Cycle of Lies (about Lance Armstrong) and read about him getting (amongst everything else under the sun) cortisone shots, and I remembered "oh yeah, I got a cortisone shot when I went to the doctor.  God dammit."

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The surgery is scheduled for April 16.  I just wanted to get it done and over with.   Six weeks without driving is going to absolutely suck, lemme tell ya.  We'll have to figure out how I'm going to get to work and whatnot.  My friends have stepped forward with getting me to practices, so that's taken care of.

People that I've talked to say that Shoulder Doc Guy is THE guy in our area to see, so that's encouraging.  

Going to the WFTDA conference in May in Vegas will be interesting - cross country travel with my arm in a brace!  Wheeeeeeeeee!

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Our coach has asked me to be the team's bench manager.  I'll miss a few bouts but will be doing that for the remainder of the travel season (end of July/beginning of August).  After that, I'll NSO.

I am supposed to take it easy for six months after the surgery, which puts me at mid-October.  (mid-home season.)    

At that point, I think I am going to try to be a referee.

Everyone I've mentioned this too thinks it's an awesome idea.  We'll see what happens.

Stage 1: Denial, mixed with "this fucking sucks", with a splash of more denial

I don't like being late for doctor's appointments.  I was about ten minutes late to this one; my boss had clients in signing their wills and I had to be a witness.  

I fill out the paperwork (which I've filled out many times before; for knee and ankle and knee again) and after about ten minutes or so, I'm called in.

I get my vitals taken by one technician and then x-rays by another.  Eight all together - four for each shoulder.  (My left one gives me issues, though nowhere near as bad as my right.)  I'm directed to an exam room, where I wait and wait and wait. I joke on Facebook about how they have forgotten me, and then how I'm in exam room #13 and WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE.

Eventually a resident comes in, has me position my arm, tells me to resist pressure he puts on it, analyzes.  Apparently at some point in the past I separated my left shoulder - who knew?

He figures that I've done something to the labrum in my right shoulder (a bunch of cartilege stuff that deepens the ball socket that is one's shoulder), but that he'll have Shoulder Doc Guy come and take a look at it also.

Shoulder Doc Guy comes in, does the same thing.  "You've got a bone spur that's irritating the tendons," he says confidently.  You'll have to do PT, and we'll put you on some inflamatories and give you a cortisone shot.  If it's better after six weeks, you don't need to see me again. If it's not better, we'll give you an MRI." He tells the nurse? technician part 2? that's come in with him to get the ultrasound machine - he just wants to check that before I leave.

She comes back with the machine, puts the goo on my shoulder, and Shoulder Doc Guy starts pushing the wand around, saying "Picture" occasionally.  The nurse? technician part 2? hits a button and the machine beeps.

Eventually he gets to where the major source of my pain is.

"The rotator cuff is torn," he says.

I'm supposed to call tomorrow to schedule my surgery.  After it happens, I'll be in a brace for six weeks.  No driving at all for those six weeks.  No lifting anything heavy for six months.

I asked him if I could still play roller derby, and he said he couldn't recommend it.

So.  I guess that's that, or something.

OMG YOU GUYS

I ran yesterday.  

Voluntarily.

For an extended chunk of time.

I'm not sure what I have and haven't said, but I got a membership to Planet Fitness. It's $10 a month, it's close to my house (and on the way home from work), so I figured it wouldn't be too painful.

I've only been once before in the three weeks or so since I got my membership, so I went yesterday.  I put the Zombies, Run! app on my phone and went to town.

I didn't keep track of my run (because I had the app set to GPS and not accelerometer, and I stopped and started the program on the treadmill a few times), but it was something like 2.25 miles in 25 minutes, YAY ME.  

And I didn't feel horrible or injure myself in any way afterwards!

My ortho appointment for my shoulder is this afternoon.  Hopefully it will go encouragingly.

and things progress

our bout was crazy-well attended, which was awesome.

Practice last night went well; I loaded up on naproxen for my shoulder and it survived.  

I think I finally got hockey stops down (at least the ones where you turn counter-clockwise).  Basically it's like half a plow stop, and it's the planted foot that makes you turn.

I jammed once during the scrimmage part of our practice - the jam was set up as a power jam for the other team, and I sat on the bench with the jammer cover on my head.  When our coach gestured for me to come on the track, I did it so quickly that the other team didn't have time to react until the absolute last second, and I got through relatively easily.

On my scoring pass, I ended up right behind the other jammer.  We both stopped, and she turned around and was trying to be intimidating, getting in my face, and I was like "um, you're not intimidating me" and I basically stood there until she realized it wasn't going to work, and then we made our way through the pack.

On the second scoring pass (we run jams like this so there's no lead jammer, we just go until our coach tells us to stop) I ended up on the outside, about an inch away from the edge of the track.  I managed to get around a player on the other team on my toe stops, step by careful step, staying in bounds, and continued on my merry way.  (This got a lot of compliments.)

(It was at some point during this jamming that I lost the captive bead in my eyebrow piercing.  I should probably switch to a barbell or actually tape it down during practices or something.)

When I got home, and took off my socks, I was greeted with this:

I've never had so many  bruises at one time, much less on my foot, so I can only think it was from those hockey stops.

so it's been a while

I haven't had the best of weeks.  I didn't make the roster for tomorrow's bout, which was frustrating.  Granted, it's only the second time in five and a half years that I haven't made a roster for which I was eligible, and I made the roster for the bout on the 29th, but it still hurt, especially since I now have to spend the home bout doing production stuff, which is nowhere near as exciting as playing.

I've been going to Sunday morning practices.  The leadup to the first one was horrible, culminating in me bursting into tears on about five separate occasions, but it was better last week.  (we don't have practice this Sunday because of the bout, which is nice.)  

Unfortunately, this new-found determination to go to Sunday practices and to not give up on things like this has exacerbated my right shoulder.  I've had shoulder issues for over 15 years now, tendinitis, but I've been able to adapt my life around them.  Now, with pushups and planks and the like, it's gotten a lot worse.  I saw my doctor on Wednesday and he thinks I might have fucked up my rotator cuff.  (I have an appointment with the ortho guy I've seen in the past for my knees (apparently he's King Shoulder Guy) this upcoming Wednesday.  

I swear, it's so frustrating.  I try to do stuff beyond just derby and I end up putting myself out of commission with injuries.  Getting old really sucks.