I fill out the paperwork (which I've filled out many times before; for knee and ankle and knee again) and after about ten minutes or so, I'm called in.
I get my vitals taken by one technician and then x-rays by another. Eight all together - four for each shoulder. (My left one gives me issues, though nowhere near as bad as my right.) I'm directed to an exam room, where I wait and wait and wait. I joke on Facebook about how they have forgotten me, and then how I'm in exam room #13 and WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE.
Eventually a resident comes in, has me position my arm, tells me to resist pressure he puts on it, analyzes. Apparently at some point in the past I separated my left shoulder - who knew?
He figures that I've done something to the labrum in my right shoulder (a bunch of cartilege stuff that deepens the ball socket that is one's shoulder), but that he'll have Shoulder Doc Guy come and take a look at it also.
Shoulder Doc Guy comes in, does the same thing. "You've got a bone spur that's irritating the tendons," he says confidently. You'll have to do PT, and we'll put you on some inflamatories and give you a cortisone shot. If it's better after six weeks, you don't need to see me again. If it's not better, we'll give you an MRI." He tells the nurse? technician part 2? that's come in with him to get the ultrasound machine - he just wants to check that before I leave.
She comes back with the machine, puts the goo on my shoulder, and Shoulder Doc Guy starts pushing the wand around, saying "Picture" occasionally. The nurse? technician part 2? hits a button and the machine beeps.
Eventually he gets to where the major source of my pain is.
"The rotator cuff is torn," he says.
I'm supposed to call tomorrow to schedule my surgery. After it happens, I'll be in a brace for six weeks. No driving at all for those six weeks. No lifting anything heavy for six months.
I asked him if I could still play roller derby, and he said he couldn't recommend it.
So. I guess that's that, or something.