Thursday, December 30, 2010

My knee pads

are Pro-Designed, specifically the Mini Ramp Knee Pads.  The only thing with these is that apparently the guy who makes them will call you up about your order and talk to you for hours on end.  (I weaseled my way around it by saying that I had a cell phone with only a limited number of minutes on my plan and not to call unless it was an emergency.)

Most of the women on my league use these, or Smith Scabs.  I tried those on (someone had a pair they were selling) and but they didn't feel quite right, so I went back to my Pro-Designed.

Monday, December 27, 2010


So my little hip bag is totally awesome (and FAAAAAAAAAST with the shipping - I ordered it Wednesday and it arrived Friday).

I bought the black Stalker Heartless wheels yesterday, and did a little bit of skate maintenance.  Moved my right toe stop to my left skate and vice-versa (since I'm left-handed, I stop with my left skate 99.9% of the time and it was really worn down) and took my bearings out of my skates since they are FEELTHY again and need to be cleaned.  Roy has commandeered the basement for the week ("I AM GOING TO FINISH THE DINING ROOM REMODEL THIS WEEK, DAMMIT" was pretty close to his exact words) so I wasn't able to actually clean the bearings last night.  Maybe I will do it when I get home from work.

My Vanish wheels (the white ones) are more worn down than I remember them being - I might stick with the yellow Chasers again.  Will have to try 'em out.

(edit: just got word that we're not having practice tonight, so that means I won't get around to cleaning my bearings until right before next practice [which is the first official practice of the 2011 season]).

Thursday, December 23, 2010

merry christmas

I bought myself this because I need something into which I can put my phone and my keys and my wallet and my skate tool when I go outdoor skating.  (Which isn't going to happen until, oh, probably like MAY or JUNE, considering where I live.)

I had to go to Michaels yesterday, so I also bought myself a little rhinestone bling sticker in the shape of a crown that I put on the back of my phone.  (Spent time looking for queen/crown/roller skate type stuff in the scrapbook aisle.  Lots more princess stuff than queen stuff.)  Some day, there will be roller derby-themed scrapbook stickers, just like how there's soccer/basketball/cheerleading stuff now.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010


so you can tell I'm excited about roller derby again because I'm posting more often. :^)

So!  I'm trying to decide what wheels I should get. It's pretty much a given that I will stick with Heartless, because they have done very right by me and I like the narrow wheels.  I have a set of white (96A Vanish) that I believe I used once, so I'll put those as my outside wheels.  But what to do for the inside?

When I started out, I used the wheels that came with my skates - Blue Tuners (93A).  Then I switched to Fugitives, gray pushers (they're basically the same as the orange ones) (88A) and red outside (92A).  Then, as I said before, I went to Heartless Voodoo (86A) and Chaser (92A).

I'm thinking that while I like the grip level that I had with the Voodoo/Chaser, I could probably go up a hardness level, which would bring me to Stalker (88A) or Creeper (90A). I don't want to go much beyond that, I don't think.  I can buy either set at the rink where we practice. 

I will probably end up getting Stalkers.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay roller derby

I went to practice last night.  Offseason stuff is basically a free skate, but it was nice nice nice to put on my skates again.  And my kneepads? OMFG.  KITTENS AND CLOUDS AND SPRINGS AND SOFT PUFFYNESS! I'd go down, I'd bounce right back up!  It was amazing.

I do need new pusher wheels, though.  They're pretty worn and I was sliding around quite a bit.  (For those if you scoring at home, I use Heartless Voodoo [maroon, 86A] and Chaser [yellow, 92A].)  I also have a set of Vanish (white, 96A).  At the beginning of last season I tried using 92/96 and that was just a nightmare, so I went with 86/92.  Maybe this season I'll try 90/96.  (90A would be the green Creeper.)  They sell them at the rink where we practice, so I will probably just buy them there, rather than trying to find the best deal online, wait for them to ship, etc., etc., etc., only to save $5, if that.

I should probably also get a new helmet.

Monday, December 20, 2010

three guesses what this entry is called

I got on a team, yay (I wasn't 100% sure how the draft was going to be run - there was talk of drafting only 14 people on each team at first and then everyone who didn't make the cut would be put into a draft with the fresh meat).  I am on the same team as last year, with awesome people. 

Friday, December 17, 2010


My new kneepads showed up, hooray hooray!  They are like falling on clouds.  Or kittens.  Or kittens made of clouds.  Or clouds made of kittens.

Draft is on Sunday evening.  We'll see where I end up.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

and so, again

At the last bout of the season, I got a crack in the cap of one of my kneepads.  It's about 2" long, going from one of the grommets to about the center of the cap. 

I've ordered new pads, but until they arrive, I don't know if I should skate on these, since I'm worried that if I fall, a shard of plastic will break through and stab my kneecap.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

um...why don't we call this one "so"

the talk has begun about the draft for next season.  We're starting up in less than a month (after the 1st of the year) so the players need to be divided and all that (backstory: this season we had two home teams and then our A team.  This upcoming season all the players will be equally divided amongst three home teams, and then for the second half of the season we will have an A travel team and a B travel team). 

The coaching committee's theme this upcoming season seems to be "if you work out, you will be rewarded."


I hate working out.  I hate working out in winter.  I hate the cold.  I hate everything. 

Thursday, December 2, 2010

so wow, it *does* work

I know that I've mentioned before that unless I can see actual concrete number-type proof that exercising and all that is beneficial, I won't believe it.  My clothes can fit better, my clothes can fit worse, whatevs, but if that number on the scale stays the same, DAMMIT IT'S NOT WORKING.

(That is the back story #1 to the following.)

The last time I got bloodwork done was in June 2005, before I started this derby thang.  Keep in mind that my dietary habits have not changed that much.

(That is back story #2 to the following.)

I had a physical yesterday, and today I got the bloodwork results.

Cholesterol - was 218, now 191 (they like it under 200)
HDL (good cholesterol) - was 47, now 50 (they like it between 35 and 60, higher is better)
LDL (bad cholesterol) - was 129, now 126 (they like it between 120 and 129, lower is better)
Triglycerides - this is the big one.  They like it to be below 150.  An increased level is a sign of lack of physical activity.  Back in June '05, mine was 209.

Now? 73, baby!


Monday, November 29, 2010

so...the off-season.

We're still practicing once a week, with the option to go help out at Fresh Meat 2x a week, but I haven't even looked at my skate bag since the last bout (which reminds me, it's probably horrifically stenchy now. Think the "Hey let's open the Ark!" scene from Raiders).

The season did not end on a particularly happy note for me, for various reasons, so I've been wallowing in a state of misery for the last two weeks.  Sort of "do I keep skating, or do I hang up my skates and call it a day?"

And my answer is.....keep going.

This season was craptacular because I tried to do too much (captaining and treasurering - neither of which I am doing next season) and because of various black swans that left me off skates for two and a half months.  So I think we're good for at least one more season.

I have to get new knee pads, though.  I'd been wanting to get new ones anyway (they're two years old) and one of them cracked at the last bout, so that kinda confirmed it. 

Thursday, November 18, 2010

answering comments

"Are you managing to get to the gym at all?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA uh no.  I haven't been to the gym since....oh....April? ish? And by April I think I mean March?  It's really quite sad, considering I'm still paying for it.  Maybe now that we're in our off-season, I'll try and go.

And by "try" I mean I probably won't go at all. Sigh.

So we had our last bout of the season, and I was in a really crappy mood for most of it because out of a full, sixty minute game, I was only in SIX jams.  (It would've been eight, but one I had to sit out because my equivalent in the previous jam was in the penalty box, and one was a total communication fuck-up and someone else went in in my place.)  Of course, I played like total crap in those six jams*, so it was probably for the best that I wasn't in more often.

Grr.  This season has just been so damn frustrating, due to all the circumstances beyond my control.  Next year's gotta be better, right?  RIGHT?

*edited to add: I played like total crap in 5 1/2 of those jams.  By the end I finally got my groove back(ish) and was able to keep knocking the other jammer out of bounds repeatedly.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Last bout of the season tomorrow


Last night was our last official practice of the year (after this we'll be practicing once a week, on Mondays, but there's no mandatory attendance).  The last half hour of the night, the guys who work at the rink turned on the disco lights and played old school music and we just had Dance Party USA, which was fun.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

trying to get back into the swing o'things

so last night's practice is the first one in a long time where I didn't feel like a complete failure.  (Notice I said complete.  I still have a lot of ground to make up.)

Sunday was my first Anton Apolo OhHELLno practice since....July?  something like that.  It was excruciating.  My legs were wobbly wobbly Jell-O until yesterday.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


So I lost another week of practice due to a combination of being sick and my father-in-law dying.  (Seriously, WTF is going on this year?)

I finally went to a practice last night and it was screamingly obvious that any sort of, oh, speed, endurance, skill I might have had at one point is just gone.  Poof, vanished.  I was not (and still am not) a happy camper.  So now it's crash-course time in getting back into something resembling shape.  Whee.

Oh and yeah, today's my birthday.  I'm 37.  Guh, that is fuckin' old.

Monday, October 18, 2010


I didn't go to practice yesterday because my father has a cold, and I got it when he came over to watch Maverick, and I didn't want to be Typhoid Mary and infect everyone.  Hopefully this will not fuck up my attendance requirements too much.

Thursday, October 14, 2010


the bout went well, our team won, I only fucked up once, maybe twice.  yay!

so our last bout of the season is a special round-robin thingy where we are dividing the league into three equal teams.  Tonight was our first night of scrimmaging in our new teams, and as I played, getting way more minor penalties than I should have for false starts and illegal procedures, I realized - this is the first time I've scrimmaged since, oh....July?

Yeah.  Our bench manager said I looked "floppy" out there, and I agreed with her - I felt floppy.  Weird and all over the place and stuff like that.

I did, however, get in an awesome hit on the other team's jammer (who happens to be Coach Superstar, who's coming back into the realm of skating after giving birth to her daughter).  So that was kinda nice.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

so (I title many entries this way)

There's a bout on Saturday.  Our A team versus Boston's B team.  I get to NSO this time around! (Usually I am working bout production, which means I sit in the box office and listen to the cheers and not see anything.)  I'm working the penalty whiteboard, which should be interesting. Hopefully I will not run into any of the referees.  Hopefully I won't fuck anything up too badly.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

back on skates

I realized a few days ago that with the exception of one time a few weeks ago, I haven't been on skates at practice since July.


So last night I returned to practice in a non-contact way. (Amusing story - when I got the cast and stitches removed from my hand, the medical resident was going through all the stuff I can and can't do, the realm of contact sports came up.  She asked me what I played, I told her, she said "oh, I went to your last bout last season.  What's your derby name?" and called roller derby "*the* contact sport")  I got through the warm up with little problem, but realized that even with a band-aid over my healing scar, it was still getting sweaty (I'm not supposed to have it in "standing dirty water" for a week), so after about 20 minutes I took my skates off and watched.

Thursday, September 16, 2010


so tonight begins Roy Underkill's bowling league.  While I am thrilled that he gets out of the house and socializes with other guys, I really wish it was on a night when I don't have practice.  True that it's not an issue now because I am not skating, but once I'm back on skates, it sucks having to miss scrimmage night.  (Especially since our season is starting earlier next year, I'll have to deal with four months of this, rather than the usual two.)

Maybe now that Maverick's older, I can try and track down some neighbor teenager who'd be willing to sit on our sofa and watch big-screen TV for a few hours every Thursday night.  Last season I'd ask my parents to do it, but it's kind of a drive for my Dad. (I will have to have him do it a least a few times, since I can't make attendance just going to two practices a week.)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


We lost the September 11 bout, but it was 76-70, and the lead switched back and forth many, many times, from what I was told.  I was in a tylenol + codeine haze, alas.

Friday, September 3, 2010

and sooooooo

September 11's bout will be interesting. We've had to borrow two players from the other home team because we are so short on people.  One of our best players doesn't have her attendance requirement and can't play; one of our returning players will be reassessing two days before the bout. 


Thursday, September 2, 2010

scrimmage practice tonight

not skating; going to watch my team and prepare lineups for the 11th.  I have the lineups we ran back in July when we had our huge win, I'll start with those and work from there.  Whee.

Friday, August 27, 2010


went for an evening trek with Maverick.  He rode his bike, I skated.  It went fine except for the three times I almost bit it because there were random rocks in the road. 

Thursday, August 26, 2010


the drama spill has been capped.  hopefully cleanup shall be minimal.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

and so

we've got a bit of a drama spill right now.  I'm trying to organize a team to cap it up before it destroys the fragile ecosystem of the league (since I was involved, through no fault of my own). Nothing too major (miscommunication + a few busybodies) but it's annoying and distracting and just makes me want to cover my ears and go LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA but I can't, 'cause like I said, I'm involved.

I had to get impressions done on my teeth today for something dental related, and I asked my dentist if he'd make me a mouthguard while he was at it.  (I had a tooth guard I'd gotten for my TMJ that was wonderful and perfect [it covered my bottom teeth only so I could talk and breathe easily] but probably not entirely bout-proper, so when I lost it I had to go back to my hard to talk, hard to breathe but bout-proper upper guard.)  While I was there his assistant saw my purse with all my derby pins on it, so I had to explain it, and she wants to now come to our November bout and was trying to wrangle my dentist into coming.    The mouthguard will show up one practice before my surgery, so I'll get to try it out at least once.

(Unless they let me skate the day after the surgery, all woozy and hopped up on Vicodin.  Somehow, I don't see that happening.)

Our poor team!  We are beset with injuries.  Of our eighteen skater roster (we lost one at the start of the season but picked up a veteran when she came back from maternity leave), six are injured (I'm including myself in that six), one is moving at the end of the month and one is having life issues and hasn't been at practice in a few weeks.  The returning skater hasn't assessed yet, so that leaves us with NINE.  Sigh.  We have to scramble for alternates and subs for all our bouts.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

back in the proverbial saddle again

Literally fifteen seconds after I walked through the door for my first practice back after a month of leave, our team's resident whiner/complainer came up to me and whined/complained at me about something.

It's like I never left.

It was very good to be back.  It was obvious that I hadn't been on skates in a while (I gasped and wheezed my way through warm-up, and was a little skitterish and fell stupidly a few times), but I held my own and kept up and got right back into the routine of scrimmaging and all that.  My blood blister returned, oh happy frabjoyous rapture, so I've got a bunch of band-aids slapped on it and am limping my way through the day.

I will be missing Thursday's practice and Saturday's away bout because I'll be out of town (boo), but then I will get a few weeks of full practice until my hand surgery.  I really hope that I'm not out that long for that.  

Monday, August 9, 2010


okay, so almost exactly ten years ago I developed a ganglion cyst on the back of my left hand.  It got to the point where if I tried to hold a cup of laundry detergent, it would hurt and hurt and hurt.  So, I had it surgically removed.  When that happened, I was told there was a 5-10% chance of it returning.

Guess what came back a few weeks ago?

I went to see the hand guy today, and he's like "well, it looks like it came back" and I was like "Um, yeah".  Apparently the fact that it came back in exactly the same place (as opposed to higher on my hand or lower, which is more common) means that there may be a bit of bone overgrowth where it is, and if that's the case they'll need to dig out all the excess bone crap when they do it.

So, long story short, my surgery is scheduled for September 10.  This is the earliest they could get it done*, which means that I won't be able to skate in the September 11 bout.  GODDAMMIT.

As for recovery, the doctor said, basically, "at least two weeks, more likely four weeks, possibly six weeks until you can do what you normally do."  Now, this doctor probably does not consider "roller derby" when thinking of things people normally do, so who knows how long I will be out.  Come hell or high water, though, I'm skating in the November bout.  (The surgery site will be covered by my wrist guard, that'll count for something, right?  RIGHT?)

Anyway, I'm now very bummed.  The only potential bright side is that I can get Vicodin out of it, but I don't even like Vicodin!  Last time it made me really nauseous! (Although - and how's this for amusery - the nausea I was feeling actually could have been morning sickness, as all this went down last time right around the time I got pregnant.)
* I could put it off until the end of the season, but it *is* starting to hurt when I pick up things, and when I write.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


so I'm about 3 1/2 weeks through my leave of absence and honestly it doesn't feel like I'm on hiatus at all.  Between preparing the league's tax return (THANK GOD for that Intro to Accounting class I took senior year in college) and doing the mid-season expense reports and cutting people disbursement checks, the only thing I'm NOT doing is going to practice.  Sheesh.

Anyway.  I am not doing this again next year. (The "being treasurer" part, not the "playing roller derby" part.)  I really hope someone is willing and able to take over, 'cause I can NOT do this for a third year.  Sigh.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

yay for scrimmaging #2

We scrimmaged this past weekend, against a team that was about a quarter vets and three-quarters newbies.  We won by like 130 something to 60 something, which was nice.  We skated with only 10 people, too, so yay us. 

Monday, July 19, 2010


I start a lot of entries that way, don't I.

Anyway, I am now on my official leave of absence, though it's not a complete break since I have a lot of administrative/accounting work I need to do. OH JOYOUS FUN. 

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


one of our skaters dislocated AND broke her elbow tonight, apparently.  (she fell on someone's wheel, and then someone landed on top of that)

So with her out, and me on my leave, we're down to.......eleven.


Sunday, July 11, 2010

so! we had a bout last night.

So last night we bouted against CNY (Central New York)'s B team, the Blue Collar Betties.  I was a bit apprehensive because a look at their roster showed us that we had played against eight of the Betties when we went to Utica to play their A team, the Utica Clubbers.  I was not looking forward to getting slaughtered again (the previous score was 161-68).

But bout day arrived, and I had my usual eight thousand heart attacks (including one where I realized I left my flash drive at work, which held the only copy of the lineups.  I called my boss frantically, going OMFG I NEED TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE TO GET THE KEY TO THE BUILDING (well, I didn't say the "OMFG" part) but then I found a printout of the lineups so that crisis was averted).  Then our bout production manager had to go to the hospital 'cause she tripped on the track and cut her eyebrow open.  Then it was eleventy billion degrees and the parking situation at the venue which is usually horrible was made even worse because the pool was open and completely packed.

So yeah, the bout.

I have kind of realized that you can pretty much tell how a bout is going to go after the first few jams.  If it's going to be a runaway train of an annihilation, it's fairly obvious early on.

This was realized after the second jam, and it was something like 17-0, US IN THE LEAD.

WAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LAST NIGHT MY TEAM WAS AWESOME SERVED WITH A SIDE OF SUPER AWESOME SAUCE.  Skaters who had trouble with endurance in the past became walls on the track that no jammer could pass.  Our one jammer who gets so nervous in front of an audience was a lightning-fast streak who dipped and swerved and sped her way to lead jammer so many times.  We had human wrecking balls who just slammed into people and threw them off the track.

Apparently I had one move where I pulled a sheriff* on someone and they just fell completely backwards, skates in the air.  Hopefully someone got that on tape.

(My personal favorite move of the night was when our smallest skater on the league was jamming, stuck behind two blockers.  The pivot in that jam just PUSHED HER though this little tiny gap between the blockers, it was SO FUCKING AMAZING TO WATCH.)

We had communcation.  We had teamwork.  We were fucking awesome.

The final score? 147-37.  It was glorious.

(edited to add: I am looking through people's pictures of the bout and giggling over the scores that I'm seeing - 61 to 6? hee)

(edited again to add: the first time I fell, my kneepad slipped and I landed on the edge of the hard plastic part.  I have a nice bruise on my kneecap now, and my knee is all stiff and ow-wy.  Then, when we were having a post-bout meeting with the refs and the other team's captains, I realized my arm was stinging, and apparently I managed to get rink rash on my forearm.)

*this move has different names, but this is what we call it.  It's when you're skating in front of someone and you just throw your shoulder back into their chest to knock them down.  It's perfectly legal and if you do it right, they can get a penalty for backblocking.  I love doing it.

Friday, July 9, 2010


as soon as I decide to take a leave of absence now because of the lull in our schedule, the opportunity to go to an away game in mid-August comes up.

Hahahahahahahahhahahahaahahaha oh life is funny sometimes.

hey, we're bouting tomorrow. whee!

it's been crazy hot and humid here the last week.  It's breaking a little today, but with our venue being hot hot hot, tomorrow will be interesting. (You'd think that a venue that houses an ice rink half the year would have the capability to be cooler, but nooooooooooooooooooooo) I bought a bunch of spray bottles to keep at the benches that hopefully will help things.  Yes, I am aware this is like fighting a forest fire with a spray bottle, but every little bit helps, right? RIGHT?

I'm taking a leave of absence.  I need to get my life back in order after everything that's gone on, and I need to take care of a few treasurer-y things (um, budget reports? filing the league tax returns? might be a good idea).  Now is kind of the downtime for our team (we don't bout again until September), so I can take four weeks and not worry about missing attendance.

So I met with our attorney yesterday, and he brought in one of his partners, too.  WE'RE SO IMPORTANT WE REQUIRE MULTIPLE ATTORNEYS!  The other attorney looked at the list of questions the IRS provided us, looked at my list of (hastily-thrown together) answers, talked to me for a while, and said "Okay, I'll draft our response and send it to you for review." I was like "what?  You mean you'll do it for us?  I don't have to do it? OMFG I LOVE YOU YOU ARE THE MOST WONDERFUL MAN IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE UNIVERSE THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU." 

They're doing the mid-season assessments in two weeks.  I would have been on the list if not for my leave of absence, but like I said before, I wouldn't have done it anyway.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

so the first six months of this year fucking SUCKED

and now it's July and hopefully the back half of 2010 will be better and no more of the women in my family will FUCKING DIE.  Sheesh.

So I'm surviving, more or less.  Denial helps.  We've got a bout on the 10th that we're gearing up for.  Our team is dwindling as more people get injured or lose their health insurance.  We're just barely getting a full 14 skater roster.  I was voted MVP of our away about, yay for that, and Coach Dude asked me in passing on Monday's practice if I would be able to attend Tuesday (read: travel team) practices, because the season mid-point is coming up and they might be switching people around.

Even if I was picked for the travel team this time around, I wouldn't do it.  A, their schedule is super mega hella ultra crazy, B, I'm the captain of the team and it's not fair to be all "HEY GREENER PASTURES BYE GUYS YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN WHOOOOOOOOSH", and 3, the whole "big fish/little pond" thing which I have come to enjoy.

(and yes I know I did the A,B,3 thing.  IT'S HUMOR. Or something like that.)

Our 501(c)(3) application came back from the IRS with a bunch of additional information they need.  Wheeeeee!  "Why do you want to be a 501(c)(3) corporation?" BECAUSE IT WILL MAKE MY LIFE EASIER.  ISN'T THAT REASON ENOUGH?  Sigh.  They need all this stuff back by the 20th or something, and I've been dealing with it by putting it on my desk with all the other swirling piles of papers and ignoring it.

So have I hit full on babble mode yet?  I think so.  Wheeeeee!

I haven't been skating outside as much as I'd like. Mostly because when Roy cleaned my car (he does that every once in a while), he took out my skates and pads and put them in the basement AND I AM TOO LAZY TO GO DOWN TO THE BASEMENT AND PUT THEM BACK IN MY CAR. (Why do I keep them in my car? So I don't have to clomp down to the basement to get them.  THERE IS A METHOD TO MY MADNESS.)

So we've got a bout on the 10th and then a scrimmage on the 18th and then a big stretch of desert where we don't have anything scheduled until a bout on September 11.  We have a few mini-vacationy type things in there as well (visiting my sister in CT, going to Pittsburgh to see a Mets game because Maverick is a big ol' Mets fan ['cause Roy is a Yankees fan, methinks]).  The Steel City Derby Demons have a bout while we're going to be there but Roy doesn't want to go, sigh argh bleh.  Still trying to convince him that I will just go by myself and he can pick me up or somesuch.

So there was that whole brou-ha-ha about Cincinnati and the wire fraud chick.  Everyone's like: OMFG HOW COULD THEY NOT KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON?  Well, when travel is as expensive as it is for a roller derby league (and I would know, 'cause I'm the treasurer and I get to write all the checks) if someone says (as I imagined the wire fraud chick said) "Hey, I can get you discounted tickets through my job, all you'd need to do is pay me back", you'd say "OMFG SIGN ME UP!" and not think about the legality of it all. (Which made me frantically contact our league person who gets us hotel discounts through her job and say "Um, you're not committing wire fraud, are you?" and she laughed and said she wasn't.)

So....this turned out to be a wall of text.

More random bitlets about the away bout: I looooooooooooooooved the floor.  If I weren't already married I would have married this floor.  It was polished concrete and it was fast but not OH NOOOOOO I CAN'T CONTROL MY WHEELS I AM GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.  Loved, loved, loved the floor.

The afterparty was completely awesome-flavored.  Walking distance from the hotel, $1.00 jello shots and a great DJ? WIN WIN WIN.  Our home bout afterparties so far have been all "sit in a thoroughly overcrowded bar watching other people play pool and you had to park three blocks away." I NEED DANCYPANTS AFTER A BOUT.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

ok, a summary

so we've had two bouts (one home and one away) and we lost them both.  we are not a jammer-heavy team, and lost one of our better ones in the second half of the home bout (it was about eleventy billion degrees in our venue and she got heat exhaustion), and then our away bout was, well, our second bout against a WFTDA apprentice team.  Um, yeah, we really had a chance.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


when I first told my mom that I was going to play roller derby, she freaked.  A lot.  My sister had to call her and tell her that it would be okay.

By the end, I'd go and visit her in the hospital, and people would come up to me and say "so are you the daughter who plays roller derby?"

Bye, Queen Mum.  I'll miss you and love you forever.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


so even though my goal was to have as little administrative/bout production work to do on this bout as possible, I keep finding myself taking stuff on.  (For example - our Ticket Bitch had complications in her life, so I took over that.  Then our Community Outreach contact needed to get door prizes, so I helped out with that.  Then there's the general money issues, since I'm Treasurer and all that about which I need to concern myself.)

It's entirely my fault that I have so much on my plate - my general philosophy is "if you want something done to your satisfaction, you have to do it yourself."  At some point I will learn that it's okay to release the reins a little bit.

In other news, I'd like to wish a happy birthday to the inspiration behind 691 - Maverick is nine today.  Happy birthday, dude!

Monday, June 7, 2010

hm, it's been a while

lo siento.

Anyway, let's see.  WE'VE GOT A BOUT ON SATURDAY HOLY CRAP.  This week is going to be spent working with our lineups, and keeping my fingers crossed that one of our really good players makes her attendance.  (She has to make eight practices.  As of this morning, she's made six.  There are two practices left. STRESS.)

I have been itching to play for SO LONG NOW.  My last bout was in NOVEMBER, people. 

Thursday, May 27, 2010


I didn't go to practice on Monday because Maverick scratched his cornea at school and I played Nursemaid Mom instead (mostly reading Encyclopedia Brown stories).    I'm not really looking forward to tonight, as we are practicing at the no A/C sports arena and it's supposed to be like 90 degrees this evening. 

Monday, May 24, 2010

yay for scrimmaging

our team had its first scrimmage against an away team yesterday - even though we lost, we did really, really, really well and I am very proud of my teammates! 

(then there was the part where I ended up in the rotation of jammers, and two of the jams I was in had to go the full two minutes, and by the end I was very dead.)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

cranking forever onward

I hate Sunday practices.  We spent most of the time working with Apolo Anton OhHELLno and I just end up in tears by the end.  All these stupid strength training stuff that aggravates whatever minor injury I happen to have (remember how I screwed up my ankle a while back? yeah), and then sometimes we have to hop. 


But then Monday practices, with my team, are wonderful and cool and awesome.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Monday was our first scrimmage against the other home team.  We've got some work to do.

Our team is a vast variety of skaters - some who have really shone since Day 1, some who have really stepped up to the plate in a major way, some who are not nearly as good as they think they are.

So I went over to Derby News Network to look at various bout scores. Some of them are downright fascinating.  112 to 5?  114 to 2?  125 to 10?  191 to 23?  241 to 26? 284 to 33?  It reminds me of when we played in Kitchener last season - the final score was 162 them, 40 us.  By the end we were like "okay, anyone want to jam?  Go for it!" (I did, twice, and as a result, 6 of those 40 points were scored by yours truly.)

Monday, May 10, 2010


I always turn into a complete lunatic on bout day.  Every single bump in the road turns into an OMFG WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE disaster of monumental proportions.

(That, and everyone has a favor to ask of me. Which is fine for the first or second person but by the time I get to the twelfth person asking if she can set a ticket aside at the box office for a friend to pick up I am exhaling fire down their necks.)

The bout, of course, was fantastic.  Our team lost BY TWO POINTS.  Gaa.  (I couldn't watch because I was in the box office, but I could hear the screaming and I could see the scoreboard through the window.)

So next time, June 12, it's us. Whee!

Friday, May 7, 2010


so last night I finally got to start scrimmaging again! Yaaaaay! 

Thursday, May 6, 2010

work is never done

right before every bout I write up my list of stuff I have to do and bring.  Here it is, so far:
  • buy receipt rolls for the cash registers
  • buy a roll of tickets for the 50/50 raffle because I have no idea where the roll we had last year is
  • buy AA batteries for the cash registers
  • buy an extension cord for the cash registers because I don't know where the outlet is at the sports complex there's no outlet close enough to where the merch will be
  •  bring the cash drawers on Saturday (currently in the trunk of my car)
  • bring the bill counter on Saturday (currently in my attic the dining room)
  • pick up the starter change and bill straps from the bank on Saturday morning (dammit I forgot! need to go back to the bank)
  • bring the suicide seat wrist bands, stamps, ink pads, crowd counters (currently in one of the cash boxes in my basement)
  • get some sort of boxes in which to collect ticket stubs
  • bring the deposit bags from the bank on Saturday (currently in my messenger bag)
  • pick up the unsold tickets from the brick 'n mortar places that are selling them, on Saturday afternoon
  • pick up the programs from the printer

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

look at what arrived today!

Yay for team colors!  Wahoo!

and now the spazzing commences

our league's first home bout of the season is Saturday.  Wheeeeeeeeeeee!  Time to gather everything up and put on a bout, and pray that nothing gets screwed up!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


our league has three places we skate.

The first is a rink where we practice 95% of the time. (We contemplated having bouts there, but it's just too small of a place.)  The floor is wood, and I use my Voodoo and Chaser wheels and have a grand old time.

The second place is the sports complex not too far from where Roy works.  It's ice 9 months of the year but during the summer they put down sport court.  We have our summer bouts there.  They absolutely love having us and always give us first dibs on practice time (over the lacrosse teams), the practice space is huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge and their rent for us having bouts there is dirt. fucking. cheap.  We'd have all our bouts there if we could.  The only real downside is that it's hotter than hell.

Our third place is the slick concrete-floored sports arena-y type place.  It's a fantastic place to have bouts (lots of seating, great concessions, etc), but it's not cheap.  We have our fall bouts there.  They seem to like us but haven't turned that liking into, oh, I dunno, reduced rent. 

Anyway, the sports complex just opened for the season and we'll be skating there on Thursdays now.  We'll see how I need to adjust my wheels, if at all.

Monday, May 3, 2010

ok, let's not have that happen again

the Queen Mum (aka my mother, obviously) went into the hospital Thursday afternoon with some serious medical issues.  She's home now but not out of the woods yet, so I've been a bit preoccupied.  (Obviously didn't go to practice on Thursday.)

Thursday, April 29, 2010


Roy's Thursday night bowling is over, so I get to go to scrimmages again!  Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!  It's been way too long. 

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


last night it was good to just practice and skate, except that we're all getting injured!  Our team originally started with eighteen skaters and now we're down to twelve who are at 100%.  Eep.  Let's hope things improve.

Monday, April 26, 2010


I got very burned out on derby by the end of last week; sorry.  Being a skater AND the treasurer AND a team captain is a lot of thinking and concern and all that AND I NEED TO LEARN TO DELEGATE AND I AM WORKING ON THAT, OK?



Wednesday, April 21, 2010

it's a beautiful day outside

and I am stuck inside at work.  boo.

Hm, let's see.  I think we're going to order helmet panties this week.  We got our league ones from Molly's Skivvies and will definitely order from her again.  My only musing is to whether we want to spend the extra CA$$$$$H and get outlined stars and pivot stripes (we have three colors - purple, black and silver).  Decisions, decisions.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


I just found out last night that the other home team has, like, exercise worksheets they have to fill out and hand in.

meanwhile, we spent most of our practice last night eating chips and cupcakes and cleaning our bearings.

Monday, April 19, 2010

random miscellany

so last year, my position of choice was inside blocker.  It was easy(ish), all I had to do was stick on the inside line like glue and I could be content with the job I had done.

This season, I'm probably going to pivot near exclusively (at least to start).  

Since the majority of my team is composed of skaters who have never bouted before, it's up to me and my bushels of experience (ha) to help direct people and all that.

Plus I would love to get the star passed to me.  That would RULE.  It's my secret little wish to get to jam a few times this season.


It's interesting to realize just how few people recognize me by my actual name.  We had a captain/coach meeting a few weeks ago and I introduced myself to Apolo Anton OhHELLno's wife by my real name, and the captain of one of the other teams remarked on how she didn't think of me by my real name, but as "Queen". 

It goes both ways, too - I remember last year going getting my hair done by one of my teammates, and she was talking about a fellow skater, but I had no idea who she was talking about at first because she used the skater's real name.

It's an interesting conundrum.


So practice yesterday.  Skaters who didn't pass their assessment the first time around went through it again (they had to pass in order to be eligible for the roster for June 11) and the rest of us went through Apolo Anton OhHELLno's Cavalcade of Pain.

Honestly, about 3/4 of the way through it, I said "screw it" and half-assed my way through it.   Probably not the best attitude to have, but if I screw up my knees or my ankle (still not quite right and it's been almost 3 weeks) because I'm trying to hop on one foot from the floor to a ledge 3" off the floor, and can't bout because of it, I will be one horked off Queen.

All the skaters on my team passed their assessments, so I am very very happy about that. 


why, hello

so Saturday was the bout in Cortland - our travel team won! Yay!  It was a close, exciting game that MADE ME WISH I COULD PLAY RIGHT NOW.

This week is Spring Break for the kids, so our rink is unavailable to us.  We've got a league meeting on Thursday, and then tonight we're doing some outdoor skating and then I'm teaching a sort of Wheels and Bearings 101. Fun!

Friday, April 16, 2010

weekend in sight

tomorrow is our travel team's first bout of the season - an away game against Ithaca, in Cortland.  I have to get the cash box ready for our merchandise people this afternoon, and a bunch of us are driving out there tomorrow.  I'm looking forward to it.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

sum uppery and review

so, as to be expected, I was horrifically slackery and did not go to the gym at all.  BUT!  One of my teammates is going tonight and I said I would try to go as well. So we'll see.

my ankle is still not 100% from when I screwed it up two weeks ago. If I go down on my left knee, it hurts when I'm coming back up.  Oh well.

Friday, April 9, 2010

i can haz break?

remember last post where I said that Maverick has next week off?  I looked at his school calendar last night and discovered that no, he has the week of the 19th off.  Geesh.  That could've ended very badly.

Anyway, I have had derby on the brain forever now.  If I'm not thinking about it in a "hey I'm the treasurer of the league way", I'm thinking about it in a "hey I'm the captain of a home team way", or I'm thinking about it in a "hey I'm a skater" way.  Gaaaaaaaaah.  Last night was the first night in a bazillion years I didn't have to go anywhere or so anything, so I basically sat on the sofa all night and drew these stupid little comic strips I've had on my brain for the last few weeks.  It was a nice break.

So it's Friday, and there's nothing on the schedule tonight, either.  Maybe I'll go to the gym?  Maybe?  I dunno. 

Thursday, April 8, 2010


so we did our budget magic thing last night.  It will make things easier for me, so I don't have to go "OKAY SO DO I PUT BUSINESS CARDS AS A PUBLIC RELATIONS EXPENSE OR AS A DESIGN COMMITTEE EXPENSE?"  Whee.

The school districts around here are very screwy.  Maverick has next week off for Spring Break.  The week after that, all the rinks around here are doing special HEY IT'S SPRING BREAK stuff so we can't practice.  I get confused easily.  It's up to me and our co-captain to come up with something to do on Monday the 19th. 

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

meetings and meetings and practice and meetings

so last night I had a "let's talk uniforms and color combinations and all that" meeting at my house.  I don't think we got too loud, although Maverick didn't go to sleep until after everyone left (about 45 minutes past his bedtime).  He was kinda grumpy this morning about it, but in other news, water is wet and fire is hot.

We got things pretty much set, we just some tweaking left about detail color and the like.  Getting seventeen people to agree on ANYTHING is a feat in and of itself, so we're doing well.

Tonight is a budget meeting (yay for administrative details, she said sarcastically).

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

yesterday was monday and today is tuesday

so we had our final final final final vote and we have a team name.  It just needs to be approved by the Board of Directors and we are SET. (and since I'm on the Board, I will MAKE SURE in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that the name gets approved. Hee.)

So last night was practice.  We did some scrimmaging and I got to jam a few times, which is always fun (except for the part where I crashed into a few people and we all went down clutching our shins in pain).  We have a few new skaters who are scary good

Monday, April 5, 2010

aaaaaaaand here we are at another week. Yay?

so tonight is team practice.  We are doing a final, final, final vote on our name. (did I mention it was a final vote?)  Tomorrow evening a bunch of people are coming over to my house to discuss uniforms.  Wednesday evening is the Board of Directors budget meeting.  Thursday evening, Roy bowls.  Friday is nothing right now.  Saturday morning is Maverick's bowling banquet (did I mention his team won first place this season? Yay!).  Sunday is practice, but Roy's got another bowling tournament all day so I may not be able to go to practice; we'll see.  The week after that is looking just as crammed full of stuff (actually, it's even more crammed; Maverick starts baseball practice three times a week). HOW DID MY LIFE GET SO FULL OF STUFF?


My knees were giving me grief this weekend; at first I thought it was because I wore different shoes than usual on Friday, but then someone suggested the temperature fluctuation (went from the 50's to the 80's) might have had something to do with it.  I wouldn't put it past my knees to decide OKAY LET'S GIVE KICKTORIA A WHOLE MESS O'ACHINESS MUHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

we will get a team name.

we will get a team name.  we will get a team name.  this is my mantra that I am repeating to keep my sanity.

I contemplated doing some sort of "OMG I BROKE MY ARM APRIL FOOLS" thing, but one time I tried that on a blog and it backfired horribly.  So I will just say that it's really nice out and I would like to go skating.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

si teh wednesdayzar

so I went to the travel team practice yesterday, in the hopes of observing and writing down ideas for skills and training and all that.  Unfortunately the practice got delayed for an hour and a half because there was a kid skating party, so we all ended up going to one of the skaters' houses and they all talked uniform stuff.

I have no idea what we're going to do for uniforms.  I know what I would like, but that won't necessarily translate into what the team wants.  Unfortunately. :) 

Tonight I have a coach/captain meeting, then tomorrow I have to go to practice (with Maverick in tow) for a little bit to collect dues and chase down team members with their name suggestions.  I will get an evening at home at some point in the future.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

it's never easy

the Board of Directors decided that one of the names we're contemplating is too close to the name of a team that's not too far from us.  Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  I rip my hair out.  Well, not really.  What I mean to say is that we do another poll.

tuesday tuesday

team practice last night.  Man I love my team. Everyone works hard and pushes herself, no one drops out of skills and all that.  Yay us!

I fucked up my ankle last night - it's not broken or anything, just sore and owwwy.  Good thing I will be off skates for a week (can't go to practice Thursday, Sunday's Easter).

We don't have a name yet.  The team voted and one name received more votes than the others, but (a) more than a few people have an issue with the name and (b) it didn't get a majority of the votes.  So, I wielded the Captain Stick and said we were going to re-vote by Olympic City Bid format, where the name with the lowest votes gets dropped, and then a new vote is taken.  We'll see how that goes - everyone seemed to be okay with that idea.

There were sample uniform jerseys at practice yesterday, to try on for size and coverage (there are a few styles - racerback, tank, cap sleeve and short sleeve).  I contemplated a cap sleeve (so I could just put my number on my sleeve and not have to Sharpie up my arms every bout) but it covers the top of my tattoo (a Charles Rennie Mackintosh rose) and WE CAN'T HAVE THAT.  I HAVE MY PRIORITIES.  So it looks like tank top for me.

Monday, March 29, 2010

one of the things about living where I live

is that this time of year the weather turns out to be totally and completely on crack.  Witness the week of the St. Patrick's Day parade - it was sunny and 60's during the week but turned rainy and mid 30's by the date of the parade.

Today it's rainy and chilly, high in the mid 40's.  The weather for the rest of the week is supposed to get better and better, culminating on when it's SUPPOSED TO BE SUNNY AND EIGHTY. 

And then next week we'll probably get more snow.

it's another week oh yay

so about fifteen minutes into the first bout (it was a doubleheader) I set my Facebook status to something like "I WANT TO PLAY ROLLER DERBY NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW." 

I did not go to practice yesterday; bad bad Kicktoria.  I didn't get home from Buffalo until quarter after one, I had a captains' meeting at 8, and then practice after that? Um, no. (I also had a metric ton of treasurer-related work to do.)

So now it's Monday, and we have team practice. yay!  One of the things we talked about at the captains' meeting is that we should be allowed to attend (if at least to watch) the travel team practices, so we can see what they're doing and filter it down/over/across to our own team. 

Saturday, March 27, 2010


I am sitting in a bowling alley in Buffalo.  The wonders of WiFi!  I had some treasurer-y related work I needed to get done today so I brought my laptop.

Lookin' forward to derby tonight.

Friday, March 26, 2010


to look outside, it's a beautiful glorious day.  to actually *be* outside is to discover it's windy and barely above freezing.  Sigh.  No outdoor skating for me.

Tomorrow is Buffalo for the QCRG bout.  I'm excited.  I haven't seen real live roller derby in months AND I MISS IT SO.

I also found out that Roy only has three or so more weeks of league bowling AND THEN I CAN START GOING TO THURSDAY PRACTICES YAYAAAAAAAAAY.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

sigh and argh and bleh

I did get to try out my new outdoor skates.  I would be happier if they were a half size (or maybe a size) larger, but after all the angst I went through with getting them (witness my months of waiting to get my first pair only to have them be wrong, and then months of agonizing over that before ordering this pair), I am just going to wear them and deal.

Thursday.  No practice for me because Roy has bowling.  Sigh.  WHEN IS TEH BOWLING SEASON OVER?  We're having a captains' meeting on Sunday at 8am.  Sigh. The high temperature tomorrow is supposedly going to be thirty degrees.  Sigh.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


so for the past however many decades I've been playing roller derby, we've had practices Sunday/Tuesday/Thursday.  This Sunday/Monday/Thursday-whenever-Roy-finishes-his-bowling-league thing is throwing me off.  I keep thinking it's Thursday (since I didn't have practice yesterday), so I'm telling my boss that he missed a seminar because it's scheduled for Thursday at 8am, and then he reminds me that, no, it's only Wednesday and I feel like a big doof.

It's bright sunny out right now; I am hoping that the streets dry out enough so that I can try my new outdoor skates when I get home. 

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

si teh tuesday

so OMG I LOVE MY NEW WHEELS YOU GUYS I AM NOT KIDDING.  They are a perfect combination of grip and slick.  I could snake across the track without feeling like I was going to careen out of control, and I did 27 laps in 5 minutes without trying that hard, so they're not slowing me down.  I am a happy, happy camper.

We're voting on our team name this week - narrowed it down to five.  One will have to be thrown out (we realized too late it copies a skater's name, which is "strongly discouraged"), two are...okay, one I really don't like that much and the fifth is COMPLETELY AND AWESOMELY FULL OF WIN.  Like, we HAVE to have this as our team name, to the point where if we don't I just want to pull captain's privilege and say "WE'RE DOING THIS GODDAMMIT".  I won't do that, though.

Monday, March 22, 2010

heartless is more than a heart song

(though isn't it kinda hypocritical that a group named "Heart" is doing a song called "Heartless"?)


My Voodoo wheels showed up this afternoon; huzzah!  I hope they will work out well and I can rock out with the best of 'em.  (My outdoor skates also showed up.  I couldn't try them out because it's raining, but I put my wheels on them and I won't have the problem of the sole of the boot rubbing into them, at least.)

the prodigal daughter returns

I WENT TO THE GYM ON FRIDAY.  Yeah, I know!  It was painfully (literally) obvious that I hadn't been in a while.   Kyle made me up a new workout for me to do on my own (I'm not going to be doing the PT sessions for a while - life is insanely busy and the PT sessions are expensive).  It's mostly arm stuff (HI I HAVE PENCILS FOR ARMS). We'll see if I actually do it.

Saturday....what happened Saturday?  Oh  yeah - went to the local(ish) racetrack for my friend's birthday.  I had never been there before and have only been to two casinos in my life, so it was a bit bizarre.  Row upon row upon row of video slot machines.  I lost $10 in one machine and was like "Um, okay, that was fun?" (Meanwhile my other friends won $90 and $70...)  It was just bizarre.

Sunday. Apolo Anton OhHELLno.  Sigh.  I actually started crying at one point near the end.  Not fun at all.

So today we've got team practice.  We're supposed to come to the meeting beforehand with our top three potential team names and honestly? I got nothin'.  Any names that I like have been taken already.  (My top name for a team, Pretty Skate Machine, is the name of a skater in Virginia, I believe.)  There are one or two names people have suggested that aren't bad, but nothing that makes me go OMFG WE HAVE TO PICK THIS NAME NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW.

Friday, March 19, 2010

because naps are NICE, ok?

so I threw on my skates again last night and skated up and down the street.  Mostly for the exercise and the HOLY COW IT'S NICE OUT AND THE SUN IS STILL OUT AFTER DINNER YAY SPRING WAHOOOOOOO but also so I could keep an eye on Maverick while he played with the kids across the street (I am a wee bit of an overprotective parent).

I am going to the gym tonight. It's been a frickin' month. Oops.  How did my life get so busy?  How did I get so lazy (see the title of this post).

Hm, this weekend.  Going to see the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie with Maverick.  Then going out with a (former) skater friend for her birthday. (She fucked up her wrist moving furniture last year, was told by her doctor if she falls on it again it could be permanently injured.  She does computer graphics for a living, so she kinda needs the use of her hands/wrists.)  Then Sunday practice, skills & drills for Maverick for baseball (and then his assessment for which team he'll be on) and then over to my parents' house for dinner.

Like I said, how did my life get so busy?

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


so I put my outdoor wheels back on my skates and took a spin up and down the street.  It was a lot harder than it usually should have been, so I took the bearings out to discover that out of sixteen, eight had rusted.  Oops.  Maybe I should've not waited until four days after the fact to think about cleaning them. 

Fortunately I had enough extra lying around to replace the bad ones, so Maverick and I biked and skated over to his elementary school's playground.  Unfortunately, they have a "no skateboarding or rollerskating" rule, so I played the responsible parent and brought shoes to switch into, even though there were kids there on roller blades scooting around.

As I think I've said before, I never skate without my knee pads any more, even if I'm just going to an open skate night at the rink.  I also usually wear my wrist guards.  Elbow pads and helmet, not necessarily as much.  It's really jarring for me to see kids wearing nothing but a helmet that doesn't fit properly going out on blades or skates (especially when said kid falls down and lands on a knee).   I've trained Maverick to wear full gear when he skates outside, and if we skate at the rink, he'll usually start out in full gear but then take off his helmet and elbow pads after a while.  Fair enough, I suppose.

I wish my actual outdoor skates would hurry up and show up.

oh hey look, it's an entry

so now is the long dark tea-time of the derby soul, in which I don't do any practicing until Sunday.  One of the new skaters (who is actually the co-captain) has taken my helmet to repaint and freshen up my crown and maybe bling it up a little (my only worry about that is if something comes unglued it'll be a rink hazard).

I finally bit the bullet and bought skates for outdoors.  I also bought new pusher wheels - I went with the Heartless Voodoo (86a) rather than the Stalker (88a).  Figured I might as well get as much traction as I can, so that I am not skittering all over the place.

So, let's see.  On Monday we couldn't find a file at work (that's one of our downfalls - we are slightly unorganized and hoardy here.  When we moved to the new building and the movers were picking up my boss's desk, they found cold medicine that expired in 1989 in one of the drawers).  In my searching and digging around for it, I found my little Personal Trainer: Walking pedometer that I'd lost (the white one.  I lost the black one on the Zombie Walk the league did last year [yes, I wore a pedometer to a Zombie Walk.  I figured I could get a lot of steps in, even if they were shuffly and undead]).  So now I am wearing that and seeing just how much I am not walking.

I should've gone to the gym last night; I could've - I forgot to RSVP to my mother about dinner plans and she made plans without me, so we were home - but I couldn't.  Lost was on, that's my excuse.  (Sigh.)  I am going on Friday, though - I have my last PT session with Kyle and it's scheduled so I hafta hafta HAFTA go.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

so, hello

last night was our team practice, and the skaters on our team voted me for team captain. Yay!  Hopefully I won't fuck it up too much.  A new skater whom I like very much and whom I think will do a bang-up job is our co-captain, and together we will be a force with which to be reckoned.

Monday, March 15, 2010

weekend in an entry roundup

Friday: I did not go to the gym.  In other news, water is wet and fire is hot.

Saturday: St. Patrick's Day parade.  It was cold and rainy and completely miserable, weather-wise.  However, because I am an idiot/am a glutton for punishment/have a death wish, I skated (there were probably about ten of us who did).   We had an awesome float ( VW Cabriolet decorated to look like a roller skate) and we elicited a lot of cheers and support as we went by.

Skating back to the cars after the parade was over, though, was not much fun, as (a) it was raining harder, (b) we had to swerve in and out of progressively drunker and drunker spectators, and (c) we had to skate on the sidewalk, which I never like doing.

As soon as I got home, I took the world's hottest shower.

I also took apart my skate trucks so I could clean all the mud off them.  This was sort of terrifying, as I'd never done it before and was worried that I would do it wrong and my skates would explode (not really.  But there was one skater last year who somehow managed to strip the threads on one of the bolts of her truck, and it took a really long time for it to get repaired.  I really need to order a pair of outdoor only skates [though I did talk to one chick at the parade who had a pair that I was contemplating, and she loves them, so I will probably go with those]).

Sunday: Skills and drills.  Apolo Anton OhHELLno was out of town so we didn't have to kill ourselves with off-skates training.  So we worked on hitting and dropping into a low stance when we're hit so we don't fall, and I had to leave early because Roy had a bowling makeup session and Maverick had his baseball skills session thingy.

Sunday night we had a league board meeting in which many exciting things were decided and discussed.  Whee!

Tonight is our team meeting/practice, which should be fun.  I like my team - we are teh awesome.

Friday, March 12, 2010


one of the skaters on my team spiral fractured the two bones near her ankle last night.  It was another freak thing - she wasn't scrimmaging, wasn't doing anything bizarre - apparently she was just trying to slow down and all her weight just sort of twisted around and she went down. 

We've rallied the troops and put up a "bring her dinner" database which got filled in record time, and I will probably go to the hospital this afternoon to visit her.

Before I found out that she hadn't been scrimmaging (it apparently happened during the first two minutes of practice) I was wondering if we were pushing the new skaters too hard, too fast.  Our league practiced for about six or seven months before we even contemplated scrimmaging - now we're putting skaters into scrimmages after a month or two at most.  I will have to bring it up at our pre-practice meeting on Monday.

So knock on wood, that will be our last injury of the year.

It's raining today.  It better not rain tomorrow - I want to skate in the parade, not walk!  I put my outdoor wheels on yesterday (Radar Pure, which are really nice but admittedly pricey) and did a few laps of the street.  It was soooooooo nice.  I noticed that our neighbors down the street still had their "Merry Christmas" flag hanging off their front porch; oops. 

I also, of course, wore my knee pads.  It's gotten to the point where I do not like skating without them.  I think it's because when you fall in derby, you always try to fall forward, and if you're not wearing knee pads, well... one time at open skate I didn't wear them, and...

Yeah.  Ow.


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

last night

last night was our first team practice, and I am so stupidly excited for this season.  We are going to be a force with which to be reckoned.

Now we just have to come up with a name.

Monday, March 8, 2010


so I was really going to go to the gym on Saturday, and I even went, but wanted to stop at one of the stores at the mall before I actually went into the gym. I found a cute dress and a skirt, but then realized I'd forgotten my wallet, so I went back home and figured I would go back later that evening, which of course I didn't.

Sunday was practice.  Now to explain.

I write this blog with a sort of thin veil of anonymity.  I mean, I use my real derby name, but I use fake names for everyone else - mostly because if I know people are reading this, I won't be as free-flowing, I'll think "oh but what will so-and-so think if I write this," etc.  So I use fake names so people can't google themselves.  Or something.  Also, it's fun.

So!  We have three coaches.  Coach Superstar is in charge of the travel team - she used to play for a few big WFTDA teams before she came to our city.  She's insane.  She gave birth to her daughter on February 25, and was at the travel team tryouts on March 2. 

Coach Dude was the coach of the B travel team last year.  He is, as his name would imply, a righteous dude.  He's also Fearless Leader's boyfriend.

Our newest coach is the guy who also is a speedskater, who runs the insane training sessions on Sunday.  He is Apolo Anton OhHELLno, because that's what I say when I hear him run through what we'll have to do.

So yeah, yesterday was training with him.  Good LORD.  All sorts of running and jumping and squatting and IT'S NOT A PUSHUP IF YOUR CHEST DOESN'T TOUCH THE FLOOR and this morning I woke up and my legs said "you want us to move? Not gonna happen" and guh.

So that was Sunday morning.  Yesterday afternoon Maverick had another bowling tournament and once again he continues to amaze us.  He bowled a 143 (a new high score!) a 100 and a 106.  He's really gotten a lot better this year - his average is up over 25 points since last season, and it's steadily increasing.  So yay to him. 

Friday, March 5, 2010


and now we get to decide on a team name and colors and all that. 

For some (bizarre) reason, I *really* want to call our team "The Titans of Industry".  I just think that would be really neat.  (I really hope we don't decide upon some sort of pin-up related theme.  I am *so* not a pin-up type of person.)

As for uniforms, I want a dress of some sort.  And for colors, I like ocean blue/black.

We shall see what happens.

looking back and looking forward

I think I might have mentioned before, but Roy has a Thursday night bowling league, and since Maverick isn't old enough to stay home by himself, I miss league scrimmage night.  Which is a bummer.  There have been nights when my parents have been able to watch him (like, say, the Thursday night before a bout), but (a) they live about twenty minutes away and (b) I don't like obligating them to do it every week.

So!  My practice schedule for the season is Sunday morning league skills and drills 10-12:30, Monday night team practice 8-10, and then Thursday league scrimmage 7-9:30 once bowling's over for the year (which is like, May, I think).  Bit of a change from last season, when team practice was on Tuesdays.  At least I'll be able to take Maverick to his baseball practices and games.

Tonight a few people are getting together to watch Blood on the Flat Track.  It's available on Watch Netflix Instantly, you should watch it.  (I do not have Watch Netflix Instantly because we are a Linux household.  We do, however, have a Wii, so eventually apparently at some point this spring we will get it.  HOPEFULLY.)

Tomorrow I really need to get over to the gym.  Like, desperately.  Going to North Carolina and being sick and Roy doing a lot of extra bowling this week has completely thrown me.   I have been somewhat able to keep a little bit of the weight that I lost while sick off (I am now hovering around 165 rather than 169); YAY ME. 

I really want to put my outdoor wheels on and skate outside.  The streets are dry even though there's like a foot of snow on the ground.  Either that or I need to get a real pair of outdoor skates.  I tried last year just getting a cheapo pair of skates for my outdoor wheels, but the ones I got, the trucks were too close to the base of the boot, meaning that if I put my (somewhat larger diameter) wheels on them and tried to turn, the wheel pushed into the bottom of the boot and I would stop.  (Those were the skates I sold in this entry.)  I am lazy and am getting tired of swapping out my wheels every single time I want to skate outside.

I'm so ready for spring.  I hate winter so very much.  You cannot conceive how thrilled I am every year when Daylight Saving Time starts.  Maybe I have Seasonal Whats-its-face Disorder or something.

Thursday, March 4, 2010


so I didn't make the travel team.  I've done my five stages of grief* and am now ready to be as much of a motherfucking superstar on the home team as is humanly possible.

*leaving the practice early in tears, screaming in the car on the way home, wishing damnation and hellfire on everyone and everything in the world, cake and sleep.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

in which your humble narrator starts spazzing the fuck out

okay.  I've swapped my wheels but that's it.  I don't want to go tinkering with other stuff (toe guards, toe stops) lest I screw something up and make things worse.


today is the day

so in a wonderous bit of serendipity, Gnomeloaf (my older sister who lives about 6 hours away) is contemplating being in Buffalo on the 27th as part of the Buffalo Small Press Book Fair (she runs an online literary journal, The Northville Review).  If all works well, I'd hang with her there for the day and then we'd go to the bout afterwards.  Fingers crossed!

Tonight is the travel team tryout.  When I get home from work I have to swap out my wheels.  I never got around to doing it yesterday.  I hope I do okay - I don't necessarily care if I make the team*, but I just don't want to make a complete fool out of myself.

Let's see.  The St. Patrick's Day parade is coming up - we marched in it last year and it was hella fun, except for the part where we had to stand around for 3 hours waiting for our turn to march (we were near the back).  There was no snow and the streets were dry, though, so we got to skate, which was fun.  Hopefully we'll be able to skate again this year.

I am still down about five and a half pounds from where I was last week because of being sick.  I have no confidence that I'll be able to keep it off, what with it most assuredly being water weight, but I have to admit it's nice to look at the scale and see different numbers.  I am actually trying to eat more proper-like (for example, breakfast today is a banana and a TLC cereal bar).  AND I NEED TO GO TO THE GYM.  Maybe I'll get up early tomorrow or something. (yeah, that will happen.)

*who am I kidding, of course I care if I make the team.

so, yeah

tomorrow's the scrimmage for Travel Team tryouts.  Actually, make that "later today".  Sigh.  Right now I am on the "why am I bothering" side of the swinging indecision.

Monday, March 1, 2010

and now we're back at Monday

and not only is it Monday, it's the first day of March.  whoa!

So, like I mentioned before, I was really sick on Friday, and spent about 90% of Saturday and 75% of yesterday recovering.  This means that I didn't go to practice yesterday.  Sundays are league-wide practices that our speed skating coach runs, and as I expected, everyone's Facebook statuses afterwards involve the fact that they can't move their limbs.  So I'm not completely upset that I missed it.

Kyle called me on Saturday - I have one more personal training session left of the bunch that I bought.  It expired yesterday but he's going to try and hold it for me.  Honestly, I don't know when I'll be able to get in - Roy is subbing in for someone tonight bowling, I have travel team tryouts on Tuesday, and then Roy is bowling again Wednesday night and Thursday night.  Okay, so maybe I do know when I'll be able to get in - Friday at the earliest.  Sigh.

I also (before I got sick) managed to solve an issue that haunted a lot of us all last season.  When we come to practices, we need to have scrimmage shirts - one black, one white, each with our number on it.  While the black was no problem (I have two bout shirts in black), I only had one official white one, which I lost.  So I'd either have to jerry-rig something with duct tape and a Sharpie, or beg to be on the black team. 

Well, one of our skaters found that a sports clothing outlet place had reversible black/white mesh basketball shirts for $1.  Score!  I went on Wednesday and got one (it's a men's XL, so it's basically like a dress), but for $6 I got my number on both sides so I am SET TO GO.  I hope that whatever team I'm on does something like this for our uniforms (though I would not be upset if we ended up getting dresses).

I know I've mentioned Roy's bowling tourament in Buffalo - as it turns out, it *does* coincide with a Queen City Roller Girls bout, yay!  So all I'll need to do is finangle a ride home, which shouldn't be difficult.  I've been jonesing for some live roller derby - watching it on the internet just doesn't suffice.

So while Roy is bowling tonight, I'll need to swap my Heartless wheels for my Fugitives, and I should probably clean my bearings.  I also need to see if I can find my old toe guards (I have two sets - plain ones and fancy ones with crowns on them.  The fancy ones make my toe stops too low). 

Sunday, February 28, 2010

so when last I wrote

I hadn't mentioned that Maverick was home sick Wednesday and Thursday - he threw up a few times, and had a fever.  It's the first time he's ever missed school *ever*, so he was overdue for it, but it was still a bummer to watch. 

Early Friday morning, I ended up with whatever he had, and spent most of the morning puking my head off.  It was miserable.  I couldn't even keep down water for a while.  I pretty much spent until last night in bed, drinking the occasional glass of water and sleeping.  I can't remember the last time I went to the gym (but on the other hand, I've lost 6 pounds - too bad I'll just gain it all back).

So I'm really only sort of now, Sunday around noon, coming back to the land of the living.  I'm not 100% yet, but we'll see what happens.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

so, tuesday's practice

Tuesday was geared for the skaters who want to try out for the travel team. Our travel team coach (who left halfway through because her pregnancy due date was 2/24 and HER WATER BROKE) is notorious for putting skaters through Death Paces (I would read the Facebook statuses of people after practices and they'd be like "OMFG JUST GOT BACK FROM PRACTICE DYING NOW").

So yeah, those were accurate.

Skating and skating and loop skating* and skating and pace lines and more skating and hey, let's skate and partner up with another skater and skate for a lap while you hold onto her hips and do a plow stop and  pacelines where you have to hold hips and pull the 19 skaters behind you for a lap and more skating!  The penny-sized blood blister that developed on the ball of my right foot that took the entire off-season to vanish? Came back about two hours in.  Ow.

But I didn't have to drop out of anything, which I suppose counts for something. (During the loop skating, I kind of trailed a little off the pack once or twice, but not enough that people were yelling at me to catch up.)

I haven't ordered replacement Heartless wheels yet.  I think for the scrimmage tryout for the travel team I will go back to my Fugitives.  I was skittering skittering on the really sharp turns of the loop skate. 

It will be interesting, the travel team tryout.  There are 21 or 22 skaters trying out for an at the time unknown number of slots (probably between 18 and 20).  Will I make the cut? We shall see.

* Loop skate is where you basically skate the shape of a safety pin around cones (which I kept running over and squashing).  We did them in groups of two, in a pyramid style - one group did 2 laps, then the other did 2, the the first group did 3, and so on up to each group doing 5 laps and then back down to 2.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

first real practice of the season, aka GUH

oh lordy lord lord.  I am a pile of guh and a blood blister and a painful contact lens which I ripped out of my face as soon as I got home. I am thankful, however, that I kept up on the exercise stuff or they probably would've had to scrape me off the floor.

back in the empire state

So I was in North Carolina Thursday-Monday, for my grandmother's memorial service.  It was a sad occasion to be sure, but it was good to see everyone on my dad's side of the family (they're spread out across the US - Virginia, California, Arizona and then us here in New York).

I used the fitness center exactly once while I was there - 15 minutes on the elliptical, yay me - and ate bunches and bunches.  Sigh.

Tonight is practice for those who are going to try out for the travel team.  I am still conflicted about that.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

middle of teh weekzar

I WENT TO THE GYM LAST NIGHT.  Whee.  I started feeling crappy again during the weight lifting and exercise machine portion of it, though.  Don't know why. 

The assisted dip/pull machine was fixed and even though I hate that machine so very much, I did my repetitions on it.  My left elbow is still bugging me a little, but I slogged through it.  Go me.

I also did a half hour on the elliptical, during which I alternated between watching the Olympics (men's figure skating, yawn) and the pop-up rerun of LOST.  Did you know that there is a love triangle between Jack, Sawyer and Kate? I would not have known that if it weren't for those pop-ups!  Thank you ABC!

So today is Ash Wednesday and as a lapsed Catholic, I feel it is my duty to give up something for Lent, so I am going (read: trying) to give up eating everything that's not nailed down.  Fingers crossed.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

oh! and....

Watched a lot of speed skating on...Saturday, it must've been.  I learned about the sheer AWESOMENESS that is/was Steven Bradbury (Salt Lake City games - the final of the 1000m.  He's last out of five, skating a fair distance behind everyone else [including Apolo Anton Ohno].  EVERYONE ELSE CRASHES, HE'S THE LAST ONE STANDING AND HE WINS THE GOLD MEDAL.  And even better, THAT WAS HIS STRATEGY - to skate behind everyone else and hope enough of them fell to get him to medal status.  He is totally my new hero now.)

It's really amusing to watch the crashes, as long as they don't end with, like, someone's thigh slashed open by a skate blade.  I really did not need to see the replay of J.R. Celski's injury.  (For what it's worth, I think I have only been in one bout where blood was an issue - the last bout of the season, I believe one of the other team's jammers got hit in the nose.)

We have a new coach this year, who is also a speed skater.  I'm not quite sure how well speed-skating will translate into derby-skating.  One of the better jammers on Queen City's league is a former speed-skater, but when it comes to blocking, it's not really necessarily about GO GO SO SPEED FAST FAST FAST.  (Plus, if we flung our arms around like that we'd get so many penalties it wouldn't be funny.)  Plus the stance is entirely different - speed skaters have flat backs, we squat like we're over a disgusting toilet.    We shall see how it plays out.

have to remember it's Tuesday, not Monday

(three day weekends always throw me off)

So, as I said yesterday, I did not go to the gym on Friday night.  I got sucked into the Opening Ceremonies with its non-functional cauldron.  (And, as I said to Roy Underkill, Bob and Doug McKenzie should totally have been the ones to light it, eh.)

So that was my excuse for Friday.  My excuse for Saturday was...I took like a four hour nap that afternoon.  I have always slept really crappily, and who can resist the siren call of a really comfortable couch? Not me, that's who.

So Sunday's excuse was....I got up late.  I was supposed to meet with our stats guy at 11am so he could give me my stats for the season, but he showed up 40 minutes late.  I hung around for a while, watching the first set of fresh meat skaters go through their assessments, but I had to get back home. 

(I also found out why The Bowling Powers That Be scheduled their makeup game for Valentine's Day.  Back at the start of the bowling season, they said "okay, we'll schedule it for the Sunday after the Super Bowl," and no one looked at a calendar to see that oh, hey, the Sunday after the Super Bowl is Valentine's Day.  Whoops.)

So that brings us to yesterday.  I'd signed up to help out with the fresh meat assessments last night.  They weren't at the rink where we normally have practices, because it's February Break and they have lots of private parties.  So we had it at the venue where we have our late summer/fall bouts.  The floor there is technically "polished concrete" but it's more like "semi-polished concrete with lots of cracks and bumps".  I tried out my wheels and skidded around a lot (but I wasn't the only one).  It was like doing donuts in a snow-covered parking lot.  I figure if I use good 88a black Heartless wheels as pushers, and my 92a yellow Heartless as my outside wheels, I should be okay.

The fresh meat, as I've said before, are absolutely awesome.  It's so awesome to see so many women frickin' excited to skate.  I think towards the end of last season we got a little apathetic, kinda "we've been skating nonstop for over a year* now we need a break".   So we've had our break and are now WE NEED TO SKATE NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW DAMMIT, and I think the influx of fresh meat is adding to the excitement.

On Thursday I have to fly down to North Carolina for my grandmother's memorial service.  I hate flying with the intensity of eleventy billion suns.  I am going to have to sedate myself up the wazoo.  (Xanax FTW!)  It means I'm going to miss the Cooked Meat party (celebration of the Fresh Meat who make the league) *and* the first league practice, about which I am kinda bummed.

Oh - so I did get my stats last night.  I have no idea what they mean, but apparently in one game I did really well.  Yay me?  Our stats guy had the numbers from two bouts - one bout where we lost, I played pivot about a third of the time and during those jams the other team scored eighty trillion points.  Whoops.  I don't like being pivot - I'm not good at telling people what to do.  I like inside blocker (put me on the line and I will stick there like glue) and back.  Outside you need to be able to move around the track more than I am really able to do, though maybe this year I will be better at that.

Tonight is Gym Night Whether I Like it Or Not.  Kyle is on vacation so I won't have Death Paces, but I can go and tinker around on some of the machines and do a half-assed job of it.  I wonder if the assisted dip/pull machine is fixed.  God, I hope not.

*The timeline of our league kinda goes like this - the league began to take shape in February 2008; I joined in July 2008.  We started bouting in May 2009 and ended in November 2009.  So I, at least, skated 16 months without a break.

Monday, February 15, 2010

wow! a comment! I HAVE READERS!!!!

(of course, this makes me feel really bad now, that I didn't go to the gym on Friday *or* today.  Epic, massive, major FAIL.)

Friday, February 12, 2010

nothing matters but the weekend (BWOMP BWOMP BWOMP)

and once again we hit the weekend, not a moment too soon.

Should be fairly low-key; Maverick has his junior bowling league tomorrow morning. He is scary good bowling these days; we went on Super Bowl Sunday and his three game total was a 350.  Sunday is Valentine's Day but Roy Underkill has a make-up bowling league day from Christmas.  Apparently the people who decided to reschedule it for then are not celebrators of the holiday.

I really don't care about it one way or another.  My Confirmation name is Valentine, so in theory I should. (My mother thinks I picked it because it was my great-grandfather's middle name.  I picked it because it sounded cool and everyone else seemed to be going the Anne/Elizabeth/Margaret route.  I was such a rebel in 8th grade.) 

But then again, I don't care much about many holidays.  They're just so much work.  Decorating and stuff like that.  Christmas trees are the worst - if we didn't have a kid, we wouldn't get one. 


Tonight is my usual gym night.  I will probably go and watch the Olympic opening ceremonies (and then not watch anything else).  Back during the 2006 Winter games, I participated in the Knitting Olympics, wherein you cast on for your project during the opening ceremonies and had to finish by the closing ceremonies.  I was able to complete the Jesse's Flames sweater in that time, although I used a really cruddy yarn and I really don't wear it that often. (That's another one of my obsessions - knitting.  Yes, I have this book.  I've knit one or two things out of it.)

Ever since I started derby, I haven't knit as much as I used to, which I regret, as I enjoy doing it a lot (and because I have a room in my house filled with bins of yarn for projects).  There's only so many hours in the day, though.  I did pick up a project that had been languishing for a while again recently, so soon I will have a pretty pair of socks. (Do NOT ask me about my sister's sweater that I was supposed to have finished by Christmas 2008. Just don't.)

I really need to see a bout soon.  It's been so long, I'm getting antsy.  The closest league that's in bouting season now is Buffalo - Queen City Roller Girls.  Roy Underkill has a bowling tournament in Buffalo some time in March, and if the weekends line up properly I'll go with him, stay for the bout and convince someone on the league to give me a ride home.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

so (I say that a lot, don't I?)

Maverick and I both have Monday off (THANK YOU WASHINGTON AND LINCOLN).  Maybe he will want to go roller skating; I will have to ask him.

I think I have recovered from whatever was making me feel horrible on Tuesday. My chicken wing arms are still a little wonky, but so what else is new.   My left elbow, which started bugging me way the heck back when, is still not quite right, but (once again) so what else is new.  When you're trying to combat 35+ years of general sloth, things are not going to go smooth sailing right away.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


some of y'all (by which I mean no one, who reads this blog, anyway?) might notice that I do 99.9% of my posting during work hours. Why would you risk getting fired, Kicktoria*?  Doesn't your job have an Internet policy?

In a word, no.

I work for one attorney who asked me once, completely serious, "How far does the Internet go?"

Basically as long as the work that needs to get done gets done, he really doesn't care what I do.  Heck, half the time he'll go out for lunch and not come back until I've already left for the day (I work 9am-2pm).

I have a very sweet deal here, for which I am most grateful.

*For what it's worth, I generally prefer to be called Kicktoria, but 95% of the league calls me Queen or Queenie, so I deal.

in which I whine. a lot.

So yesterday I went for my personal training session with Kyle.  Some stuff I've done before (bench pressing with dumbells) and some new stuff (planks!  with weights on my back!).  I got about halfway through when I just started feeling like crap.  I don't know if it was the fact that I'd practiced the night before, or not, or what, but I got really sick to my stomach and miserable and all that.  So we finished very lightly and I went home and whimpered and watched Lost and then RuPaul's Drag Race episodes online (I saw Pandora Boxx perform live at the club where we had our last bout's afterparty.  She better win that whole damn contest, lemme tell ya).

So I had to do some arm-raisy exercise (I don't know what it's called) and I couldn't do 5 pounds with my right arm.  It was pathetic.  I figured it was from the whips I was giving at Monday's practice, so I told Kyle.  About halfway through my explanation I realized how bizarre it must sound ("basically you reach behind and YANK THE OTHER SKATER WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT SO SHE'S IN FRONT OF YOU AND TAKES ALL YOUR MOMENTUM.  THEN YOU HAVE TO SPRINT UP TO CATCH UP TO HER".) 

But hey, that's derby.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


So I borrowed a set of black Heartless wheels (88a) and they are a bazillion times better as pushers than the yellow 92a's.  Even though the 88's had nearly no tread, I wasn't worried I'd fly all over the rink.  So I'm going to buy myself a proper set, and then keep the 92/96 combo for the sport court.

Yesterday was the second day of Fresh Meat Cram Week (they're practicing Sunday/Monday/Tuesday/Thursday in anticipation of their tryouts).  There are a lot of great prospects out there; I'm excited.  (There are also some skaters out there who really need to not look like they're going to fall every single second.) 

I am also rethinking my travel team tryout status. Again.  One of the travel team skaters and I were demonstrating positional blocking and I could not get past her at all.  At all.  And she's primarily a jammer.  Sigh.

I did, however, get a cheap thrill out of lapping some of the fresh meat skaters during Hell (10 minutes of just skating as fast as you can).  I am easily amused.

My hamstring bugged me again, as per usual.  It was a sharp occasional pain, though, which, bizarrely, was easier to deal with than a constant ache. (I think that sentence wins the award for Most Commas In The Fewest Number of Words.) 

Tonight is my buddy Kyle again, whee fun excitement!  We had to give whips last night and I feel like I contributed absolutely nothing when giving them, and at one point someone took a whip on the outside and something in my right shoulder hurt for a moment. YAY.

Monday, February 8, 2010


so as soon as I list through my injuries, my knee starts bugging me.  The right one. It's a sharpish pain right behind the center of my kneecap.  Sigh argh bleh dammit. 

I went through the lamest workout on Friday and didn't even go yesterday.  A SLACKER IS I.

So yeah. My grandmother died on Saturday. It wasn't a complete surprise; she was 92 and hadn't been doing that well lately, but it still really sucks. I've been making myself cry by thinking about how she's finally back together in the wherever hereafter with my grandfather, who died in 1995. They probably have a *lot* to catch up on.

In other, non-depressing news.....

Did I ever mention how old I am?  I'm 36 (insert involuntary shudder here).  The youngest member of our league was born THE YEAR I GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL.  Sigh. 

Someone is going to let me borrow her black Heartless wheels tonight (I am helping out with the Fresh Meat practice).  Hopefully she'll remember to bring 'em. 

(If you're asking yourself "What's all this about different colored wheels?  Is she that fashion conscious that she needs to color-coordinate her wheels?", read the next few paragraphs.   Otherwise, you can just skip 'em.)

Many skaters will mix their wheels - put softer, grippier wheels on the left side of each skate [the inside] and harder, slicker wheels on the right side.  It helps you on the turns.   "But Queen!" I hear you ask.  "How do you tell the grippiness of a wheel?"

That's the durometer.  It's a number, followed by an "a".  The lower the number, the softer and grippier the wheel.  Most wheel companies will assign a different color to different wheel hardnesses. My outdoor wheels, which need to be soft so they can go over twigs and random gravel bits and not send you flying, are 78a.  My current wheels are 92a (yellow) on the inside and 96a (white) on the outside, which is just too damn slick for me.  The black wheels I'm looking at are 88a.  I'm thinking if I do 88a inside and 96a outside, that might work.  We'll see. 

The surface upon which you skate also makes a difference as to which wheel you want to use.  Our practice space right now is a typical wood skate rink floor.  But, we don't have any of our bouts there.  Our bouts are on pretty dirty sport court and/or polished dirty concrete.  I won't get to try out the sport court until April (right now it's an ice rink), but I will get to try out the concrete next Monday.  We shall see what happens.

Friday, February 5, 2010

injuries et al

So even though you didn't ask, I'm going to talk about the injuries I've received last year while playing derby.

I managed (knock on wood) to make it through the season pretty much unscathed.  Beyond my tendonitis, which I have thoroughly bored all my non-existent readers with, I had some swelling under my right kneecap in June/July/August.  If I fell on my right knee it would be a big whole mess o'pain and I wouldn't be able to get up immediately.  Five/ten minutes later I'd feel perfectly fine.  I actually skated a bout like this, which was really stupid and selfish on my part.  But finally, after taking a break and having it still bother me, I went to the doctor.

(My doctor is awesome. He's a very athletic guy and understands my need to get back out there NOW NOW NOW NOW.) 

He diagnosed it as swelling under my kneecap and prescribed some supar-strong ibuprofen.  He also had me get X-rays, just to confirm I didn't have arthritis.

(insert the standard TV sound effect to indicate time passing.)

Guess what? I'm starting to get arthritis!

It doesn't hurt or anything, but I do get the CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH when I go up stairs. 

So that's my knees. 

I also jammed my right ring finger knuckle a week before my last bout, and had to skate with it taped to my other fingers otherwise I was in a world of pain.  (You can see it in the picture I posted yesterday.)  Fortunately I was not wearing my rings at that practice, or they would've had to cut it off.  (It's only now, four months later, that the swelling's gone down enough that I can put the ring back on.)

So nothing broken (like many other women on our league) and for that I am most grateful.


on today's episode of "My Boss Left The Office For The Day at 11:30am"....

In addition to being a fearless skater on our league, I am also its Treasurer.  I'm the one who yells at everyone to pretty please pay her damn dues on time.  (It's not a fun job, which is why this season I'm foisting it off on the team captains.)  I'm also the one who is preparing the 501(c)(3) application, which is not very fun either.  But it's got to get done, so I do it.  Whee.

This upcoming week is Fresh Meat Practice.  We've been holding little training sessions every few weeks, to let the freshies know what they'll need to do to pass the WFTDA assessments, and they have been running with it.  They go to rinks on off nights to practice and practice and practice.  They call themselves the Dream Team.  It's honestly quite awe-inspiring (and a little scary; one of these chicks could take my place!)  So this upcoming week they'll have practice Sunday/Monday/Tuesday/Thursday, and then the week after that is their tryouts.  We'll have our first full everyone on the league practice Sunday, February 21.