Tuesday, May 31, 2011


we didn't have an official practice on Memorial Day, so we went over to Also Awesome Captainness Awesome's apartment to do an off-skates workout.  I *thought* it was going to be "watch footage from the last bout and maybe do some lunges if there's time", so I dressed a little nicer than I should've, but it was really Anton Apolo OhHELLno Redux.

Outside.  In a grassy courtyard that was heavily rained upon.

I got a lee-tle bit muddy.

Since I'd worn nice sandals, I did everything barefoot, which turned out to be a stupid idea when it came to a ninja jump.  My foot kinda bent the wrong way.  Ow ow ow.

Saturday, May 28, 2011


I got my spot on the B-team; this summer is going to be a blast.

Friday, May 27, 2011

it's Friday

I didn't go to scrimmage last night because about an hour before, I started feeling really crappy. 

In semi-tangentally related news, about 3 months ago I went to the dermatologist about my rosacea.  They put me on a bunch of different medications, none of which have really worked so far.  So the last time I went, about 2 weeks ago, they put me on spironolactone, which can be used to treat acne (I get really ugly pustules around my nose and on my chin - imagine that scene from Animal House where John Belushi does the impression of a pimple).

It's also a diuretic, so I've been making sure to keep drinking lots of water.

In the last eight days, I've lost almost 8 pounds.

I called the doctor yesterday, saying "Um, should I be concerned?" and they were like "yes, that's crazy, STOP TAKING IT RIGHT NOW and we want you to get some bloodwork done so we know your electrolytes aren't all fucked up"* so I went and got that done (the request sheet had a big "REPORT THE RESULTS STAT" on it) and then they called me yesterday afternoon and were like "Um, your electrolyte levels are perfect, so I guess.....yay you?"**

So yeah.  I'm sure it'll settle down at some point, but still....damn.  I'm at a weight now I haven't seen in years.
*this is paraphrased.
**so is this.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

an interlude with some backstory

backstory #1: almost 10 years ago, I bought a pair of black leather pants.  I was able to get them for $120 off the original retail price.  I was very happy.

backstory #2: about six months after I bought them, I had them altered.  (I'd been on Weight Watchers and was crazy skinny - the first two digits of my weight were 12)

backstory #3: about four years ago, with my weight the highest it's ever been (first two digits were 19), I put the pants in the deep back corner of my closet.

TODAY: on a whim, I try them on.  They fit.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

like cooking oil, on top of ice, on top of glass.

that's what the track was like last night.  Crazy slippery.  We were falling like bowling pins (and then falling over the people who had already fallen).  At one point during the warmups, I got accidentally smacked in the face by a flailing hand as one of my teammates fell.

So it was crazy slippery, and warm, and we were all big buckets of sweat by the end of the night.  When I got up from the track after doing our calisthenic exercises, there was a big backwards "691" in sweat on the track, from my shirt.

I never mentioned - my booty shorts were a HUGE hit.  Everyone loved them, and they didn't ride up too much or anything like that.  I got fabric to make another pair (this pair will be silvery sparkly) and I started pinning them together last night; I'll finish 'em tonight.

Sunday, May 22, 2011


So today was Death Paces.  We did a vast majority of it outside, which sucked because it was sunny but okay because there was a nice breeze every once in a while.

A bunch of last year's A-team people had to leave early to go to the bridal shower of one of their teammates.  As soon as I heard Captainness Awesome (who was also going) say that they would get a full attendance point, I left as well.  I've got Doctor Who to watch!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

a bummer, a real bummer and an epiphany

the bummer - we won't find out travel teams results until next weekend at the earliest.

the real bummer - my dad was taking Maverick out of town to visit Gnomeloaf and her family.  About an hour left to go in their trip, my dad hit a deer.  The car is totaled, but fortunately they are both ok.

the epiphany - I was helping out at the Lilac Festival, being generally goofy and dancing while holding my skate (we weren't allowed to wear them) and one of my leaguemates said something, I forget exactly what, that made me realize exactly *why* I joined roller derby lo those almost three years ago:

I needed an outlet for my weirdness.

And it's true! Back in '08 I didn't really have anything bizarre going on in my life.  I had a job, I had a family, I had my knitting, but I didn't have anything weird.  And then I found derby, and it gave me that outlet.

Friday, May 20, 2011


Travel Teams Tryouts.

Speed Test (how long it takes to skate 10 laps) - 1:40. Slightly annoyed with that.  I had a serious bobble (but not a fall) at one point.

30 Minute Scrimmage - except for the part where I got a major because I forgot to put my mouthguard in (WTF? I never do that), I was happy with how I played.  We were told we'd be watched for track awareness, keeping with the pack and all that, which I think I did pretty well.

Endurance Test (how many laps you can skate in 10 minutes) - 56 laps.  This pleased me very much.

So we're supposed to find out this weekend where we end up.  I'm totally confident I'll get a B slot; anything above that is gravy.

Thursday, May 19, 2011


tonight is the travel team tryouts.  Shrug.  I'll do my best.  We're not having it at the rink (where I skidded out and got all horked off), we're doing it at the sports complex place where it gets eleventy million degrees in the summer (and is sport court).  I'll rearrange my wheels, we'll see how it goes.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

off derby day, so I'll talk about other stuff

Every year Rochester has its Lilac Festival.  Booths get set up and people wander around the park looking at lilacs that are usually either past their peak or not yet peaked.  Last year and this year, the league has had a booth set up.  We don't skate (grassy hills + skates = aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee) but we give out swaggy stuff and sign autographs and/or whatnot.

Anyway, the festival runs for ten days or so, May 13 to May 22.  It's been closed the last 3 days because of the weather.  I'm working the booth on Friday evening. I'd better bundle up.

Last night I made myself some booty shorts!  I found a pattern for swimsuit bottoms and got some funky stretchy fabric.  All the while I was making them, I was thinking this isn't going to work, they're not going to fit, I'm wasting my time/money/whatever and then I put them on and.....they didn't look half bad!  I'm going to wear them to practice tomorrow.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


So last night was the fitness part of the travel team tryouts.  Pushups in a minute, situps in a minute, squats in a minute.  My numbers were something like this:

Pushups - 22
Situps - 33
Squats - 61

Like I said, sigh.

Thursday we'll do a speed test (how long it takes us to skate 10 laps), a 30 minute scrimmage, and then an endurance test (how many laps we can skate in 10 minutes).  We did a practice run of the speed test, and I frickin' fell.  That pissed me off.  Stupid wheels are bald and slid out from underneath me.  I had the slowest time of anyone because of that, 1:48.

So that was depressing.

On the other hand, I discovered that if I wear the tights that compress my legs a lot and then wear my gaskets underneath them, my knees are okay.  (I don't think I ever told the story of my gaskets.  I got them a long time ago, but couldn't wear them because they wouldn't fit underneath my kneepads.)

I re-screwed up my right ring finger, A-GAIN, so I had to tape it to my middle finger otherwise it hurts too much.  It's making typing a real treat.

Monday, May 16, 2011

The weekend, in long drawn-out form

On Friday afternoon, Captainness Awesome posted the final lineups for Saturday's bout.  There are two power lineups (used in emergency situations, when you need your best skaters).  MY NAME IS IN BOTH OF THEM.  I run around the house for a little bit, saying (direct quote here) "oh my God, holy shit, what the fuck eEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEE".  Then I remember that two of our top skaters are not playing, which brings me back down to earth.

We get together at one of my teammates house for our strategy session/carb load/team unity thing.  Her house is nothing but natural wood trim and I LOVE IT.  After we go through each member of the other team and discuss strengths and weaknesses, we go through our team and do the same thing.  I'm told that I'm great at do-si-do-ing with my partner (that's when one partner goes in for a hit, goes back and then the second partner goes in for a hit), great at hitting the jammer out of bounds and then stopping short so she has to get in behind me, I'm great at responding to commands and am just a great partner.  (Which is kinda what I thought - I suck at giving commands, but tell me what to do and I'm all over it.)

Saturday, we go to Maverick's baseball game.  It's chilly and rainy and the coaches will not call the game on account of rain and it's miserable and takes forever.  The whole setup of the league is not quite right (the kids pitch, but if a kid walks more than two players, the coaches have to pitch.  This meant that Maverick got four balls off the kid pitcher, then had to get pitched to by the coach, who threw three MORE balls before striking him out.  PLUS, the coach HIT Maverick with a pitch and he didn't get to take a base.  I got REALLY pissed at that).  THEN, Maverick's team was the home team, broke the tie and won with a run with zero outs, but THEY DIDN'T STOP THE GAME, THEY HAD TO GET ALL THREE OUTS.  That meant ANOTHER twenty minutes sitting in the rain.  I was most incredibly annoyed at this point.

So, the bout.  It was eleventy million trillion gazillion degrees.  All my carefully applied makeup melted.  During our warmup, my kneepad slid A-GAIN and I landed badly A-GAIN.  Fortunately adrenaline was kicking in at that point and I was like I CAN PLAY I'M FINE I'LL WORRY ABOUT IT LATER.

It was a hard, hard, *brutal* game.  We got out to an early lead, almost thirty points, but then we started to get tired and slap-dashery and sloppy.  I got some okay hits but nothing to write home about.  At the half, we were winning by ONE point.

So, it was time to regroup.  Captainness Awesome calmed us down.  We stayed light and happy.

Then, about half-way through the second half, playing just as happy as a lamb, I got knocked down, and hit my head on the concrete.

I didn't immediately get up.  Fortunately, the jam ended just as I was starting to get up, so I was able to get over to the bench.  I had a spot on my forehead that hurt, and I was kind of OMG WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO ME (though not in a literal "I have no memory of what just happened", more of a "whoa that was intense" thing).   At that point, I figured it would be best if I sat out for the remainder of the game.

Fortunately, we got kept our lead, and won 87-73.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

back from the bout.......


I'll write a bigger wall of text, but long story short: I'm terrified about what my knee is going to feel like when I wake up later today, I'm on a Concussion Watch for the next few days, and I love my teammates sooooooooo much.

Friday, May 13, 2011


So last night, during warm up, my wheels actually skidded out from underneath me on a turn (and they literally skidded; it wasn't a matter of me losing my footing or anything like that) and I fell on my ass. I now have a really painful spot about the size of a quarter. Yay! (On the plus side, though, my knee is no longer bugging me.)

Thursday practice before a bout is always low-key. We usually spend the first hour having our league meeting, and then we scrimmage. Blacks v. whites, we count off by twos. People play positions they usually don't, that sorta thing.

So that's how I ended up jamming.

It was like a horror movie – I'd break from the pack, and then this one skater (who's probably the best player on our league) would zoom up from nowhere, slow me down, and then I'd be back in the middle of the pack. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I think at one point I yelled "THIS IS RIDICULOUS!" But eventually I got far enough away, and then the other jammer called it off. (I did get a good hit on her, though, getting her out of bounds. She was not a normal jammer either.)

I also made myself play pivot a few times, making myself talk the entire time. It was a little tricky, though, as I was all ready to shout out our secret code words for our various plays, and I was like "NO I CAN'T SAY THAT BECAUSE (A) THEY WON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I'M TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT ON MY TEAM AND (B) I'LL GIVE AWAY TRADE SECRETS."

All in all, it went pretty well. I worked on working with my teammates instead of being all IT'S ME AGAINST THE WORLD, which I tend to do.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

just a small, little aside

as I've mentioned before, the neighborhood where I live is pretty good for skating.  Yesterday, though, I went for a walk.

I can't tell you how happy it made me.  Well, maybe I can.  It made me very happy.

The town where I live is one of the older, more established suburbs.  While there are pockets of new construction in places, the majority of the houses around me were built in the 20's-40's.  Small houses, close together, garages along the back of the properties, sidewalks, old-school streetlights, and so, so, so quiet.  All you can hear are the birds.  It's so lovely and peaceful and just makes me smile.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

T minus 4 days

I tried to go easy last night on my knee, but it didn't quite work out that way.  I kept accidentally falling and landing on my bruised knee.  Even when I was excused from knee-falling drills (I just had to do plow stops), I still managed to fall.  Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

(I did fix my newer knee pad, though, and that helped.)  

Anyway.  I had to go back to my regular wheels because Former Fearless Leader is back on skates and I had to give her back her Diamonds.  Weep weep sigh oh well I'll just have to buy my own set at some point.

Monday, May 9, 2011


So when last I typed, I'd landed badly on my knee and it was full of ow.  That's turned into a bruise the size of a fist, starting on the lower half of my kneecap.  OW.

Anyway.  Saturday last year's A team had a closed scrimmage with a mixed team from Kitchener, Ontario, as part of our WFTDA application process.  It was a total slaughter, our team won by over 100 points.  I realized that I haven't actually watched a live roller derby bout in a long time.

So, yeah, BOUT WEEK WAHOO.  I hope my knee gets better by Saturday because I am not looking forward to landing on it repeatedly and being in PAIN ALL THE TIME.

Friday, May 6, 2011

another night, another practice

scrimmage last night.  We did okay.  I tried to concentrate on keeping with my partner, it went okay.  I landed badly on my knee and it started swelling (even through my kneepad, which was my old one, because I'm having more issues with my new one, AGAIN), so I'm glad I don't have practice on Sunday so I can give it some time to get better.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

and trudging ever onward

Went to practice last night, even though some medication I've been taking gave me hives and all I wanted to do was take some Benadryl and collapse.  It went okay - at one point my fingers got skated over, so they're still kinda sore and stiff - and then we did one drill beyond my own personal point of exhaustion so I had to drop out. :(

I also, during one scrimmage drill, hit the jammer (Captainness Awesome) way harder than I needed/expected to, and she went flying.  Coach Dude was like "Geez, Queenie," and I immediately thought oh crap I didn't mean do hit her that hard, but today on her facebook wall Captainness Awesome said something like "my neck is still sore from when you knocked me down; good hit."  So I guess that's okay.  One thing I've realized is that I am much more go for blood and broke during an actual bout than I am during practice, but that's probably true for everyone.

Monday, May 2, 2011


so I didn't go to practice yesterday.  From what I understand from people's Facebook statuses, it involved a crapload of running, so I'm not too upset.  (Though I should be, since I need to, y'know, go to practice.)

What else is new....Maverick had a baseball game on Saturday.  They lost, 1-0, but the umpire (a high school kid) was horrible.  He'd call balls that went over (our team's) batters' heads strikes, as well as balls that the (other team's) pitcher threw that bounced off home plate.  He didn't realize that if you have two strikes and then hit a foul ball, it's not strike three.  He gave batting tips to the batters on the other team.

I'd complain, but I don't know who to complain to.

Our last year's A team had their private scrimmage on Saturday; they only lost by 5 points.  Wish I'd seen it!