Monday, December 31, 2012

thus endeth 2012

so that brings the year to a close.  It was a pretty awesome year, if I do say so myself.  It didn't necessarily start that way (what with my knee and my ankle and all that other injury-ish type stuff) but ended pretty rad (what with another league championship and getting rostered as an alternate for the A team).

Ever since the rosters were announced, I've actually been exercising!  (I KNOW!)  One of my home teammates who's also an A team alternate and I have become accountability buddies - we text each other when we've done our daily output.  I've been concentrating on core work, at least ten minutes a day (sometimes 20, sometimes 30), and yesterday when I went to open skate with Maverick I definitely noticed a difference - when I'd go into a derby stance, it took absolutely no effort at all to stay there.  Yay!

(as an aside, Maverick is big enough that he can wear my first pair of derby skates.  That is SO SCARY, y'all.) 

I didn't get anything derby-related for Christmas, though I did go out to Turnaround Skates (we went to Buffalo to visit my dad) and bought new Gumball toestops.  My old ones were worn down to flat pancakes.  I also bought a new mouthguard because I lose them like nobody's business. 

The next six months are going to be crazy.  I'm going to have four practices a week (Sunday mornings, Monday night, Tuesday night and Thursday night) plus away bouts and home bouts.  I'll either die or become Superwoman.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012



(This means that I am on the WFTDA charter for our team.  If I attend A team practices, there is the possibility that I will be rostered.  Just because I'm rostered doesn't mean I'll get any track time.  I am also a member of the B team; if there is a double header and I am rostered for the A team bout, it's up to the coaches' discretion if I am also rostered for the B team bout.)


Wednesday, December 12, 2012

the waiting is the hardest part

so we're supposed to find out by the 19th.  Wheeeeeeeee......?

I'm not confident at all.  The final night - drills and scrimmage - went fair to miserably. 

Friday, December 7, 2012

reality comes crashing down

So last night was part 2 of the travel team tryouts - obstacle course and written test.

The obstacle course went like this:

- run on your toestops start
- plow stop between two sets of cones
- maneuver through a mishmash of tipped over cones and beanbags on your toestops
- jump a pair of mannequin legs
- weave through a set of cones on a turn in the track
- turn around and skate backwards around a turn in the track
- skate forward and do a hockey stop at the next cone
- do quick tomahawk turns on each edge of the track, stopping at a cone (four cones total; you have to turn in each direction at least once)
- skate backwards and stop on your toestops at each edge of the track twice.

And then you had to do that whole thing again,  as quickly as you could.

I went first (in the hopes of garnering some brownie points).  The first time through, I missed some of the weaving cones (I was going too fast and they were really close together) and the second time through I fell on the hockey stop (I'm not very good at them anyway - I always end up just doing a 360°).  I have no idea what my time was.  On the other hand, it seemed like a lot of people missed other things, but on the other hand, I SCREWED UP.

The written test was a combination of rules multiple choice/true or false, multiple choice strategy questions (any question that began with "you are the jammer", I added an answer "e. Cry Profusely" and a short essay question that I expanded to a full page with drawings.  I think I did well on that, as I've spent the last few days going over the rules with a fine-toothed comb (and e-mailing one of our referees for clarification on other things) and I've got the strategies down pretty well.

So we've got scrimmaging left and I'm not sure what else.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Travel Team Tryouts Part 1

Tonight was fitness and interview (next time, swimsuit and talent).

Anyway, I did soooo much better than I thought I would - here's how it broke down for me:

Wall Sit: 2 minutes
Plank: 2 minutes 46 seconds, and I only stopped because my legs were giving out from the wall sit
Air Squats: 67 in a minute
Sit Ups: 34 in a minute
30 second sprint: 3.25 laps
5 Laps with a 2 knee fall every 20 seconds: 56.5 seconds
15 Minute Endurance: 29 laps after 5 minutes, 58 laps after 10 minutes, 87 laps after 15 minutes

The interview went pretty well, too, if I do say so myself.  I said before that I got the impression that they're looking for good attitudes - one of the questions I got was "describe someone with a good attitude" and after I did, they said "okay, imagine that's a 10.  How do you see yourself?" and I said "8 or 9" and was told that was quite accurate.

So yeah, we'll see what happens now.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Yeah, that happened.

Final score: 321 to 170-something

Friday, November 30, 2012


So tomorrow's the championship bout.  I really hope we win.

Last night was the final home team scrimmage night.  I had to jam a few times, and it went about as well as it normally does (read: not very well).  I did get lead jammer at one point (mostly because the other jammer was in the penalty box at the start of the jam) and as I was coming through the pack for another scoring pass, I got - just - BLAMMO in the chest by someone on the other team.  I went down on my stomach, wind knocked out of me, frantically gesturing to call off the jam ('cause the other jammer was back in at this point).  After the jam ended, I was like "I'm okay, I'm fine, I just need to lie down here for a little bit."  I think it's only the second time I haven't immediately been able to pop up after getting knocked down, and the first one where people took a knee for me.

So tomorrow night's bout is a singleheader, which means I DON'T HAVE TO DO ANY JOBS DURING THE BOUT.  I CAN JUST CONCENTRATE ON PLAYING ROLLER DERBY.  This is a huge relief for me as I do not do bout production and playing derby well together. 

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

oh dear

so a few years ago (like, four, I think), at one practice I fell and fucked up the first knuckle on my right ring finger hand.  (I think my doctor said it was something like a broken joint capsule.)  At any rate, it's been four years now and that knuckle is *still* deformed - if I have a ring that fits over the knuckle, it spins on my finger.

Anyway, that happened last night to my OTHER ring finger, and stupid me decided to try and put my wedding ring on after it happened.  So now there is NO way in hell I'm going to be able to take my wedding ring off in the near future and possibly for quite a very long time.  Oops.

Monday, November 12, 2012

ohmigod ohmigodohmigodohmigod (aka BEST WEEK EVAR)

So.  Thursday of last week I met before practice with my team's captains and coach.  They were offering to meet with skaters in a "hey, let us tell you how we think you're doing and what you need to work on and whatnot" sorta thing, which I don't think I've *ever* really had in the last four and a half years that I've been doing this.

I've discovered that I have no real ability to tell how I'm doing at something - or at least, I will always think I'm doing crappily.  Good things are immediately forgotten, or downplayed, and the mistakes are amplified and HEY, REMEMBER WHEN YOU DID (OR DIDN'T DO) THIS? YEAH.  REMEMBER IT.  So I have no idea how I appear to other people, if that makes sense. 

Anyway, things I learned from that meeting:

- my captains and coach think I am a solid, dependable team member, and if they have overlooked me, it's because I am not a problem skater
- that I have real leadership abilities
- that people were seriously gunning for me to be a member of the A team last season
- if the core members of the A team this season are able to compose the team of their ideal members, I would be the type of skater they are looking for


So this was amazing and wonderful and after that I had one of my best practices ever.

Saturday was Bout Night.  Our team was playing second and third, which meant that I had to work in the Box Office for the first part of the night. (Well, I didn't HAVE to - no one was holding a gun to my head - but I've sort of turned into the person who's in charge of the box office and I had to make sure everything ran smoothly.)  I don't handle multiple situations of stress very well (if I'm in the middle of handling one situation, and another one comes in and interrupts me, chances are I will bite the messenger of the second interruption's head off) and that happened a few times.  So finally when I got to skate in my team's warmup, I was scattershot and flustered and had to back out of the drill we were doing so I could do a few laps on my own to get Box Office Crap out of my head and get Playing Roller Derby in its place.

So, derby!  Our team is unique in the league, I think, in that we don't have specific lineups that go out.  Our bench manager just kinda goes " and you and you and you, go sit in the chairs."  We work well no matter who we're partnered with.  (I think it's a definite benefit of only having eleven skaters, as opposed to the deeper benches of the other teams.)

At any rate, we kept our heads cool and played OUR game of derby, not theirs, and we won both our half-hour bouts.  Wahoo!  (in our second one, we went for, like, 16 or 17 minutes without a single major penalty! Woot!)

Between the two bouts we played, I noticed that a bunch of fans had stacked up a beer can pyramid right at turn 1.  It was a pretty impressive stack, at least six or seven cans tall.  I decided I was going to either (a) send an opponent crashing into it or (b) crash into it myself at some point during the game.  When the bout was over and it was still intact, I went over before our victory lap and smashed through it.  (unfortunately, some of the beer cans were still half-filled).  The fans who had created it cheered wildly.

Each half-hour bout has a Heaviest Hitter and an MVP awarded.  The recipients are chosen by the opposing team.  The very last award announced, the MVP for the winning team of the last half-hour bout of the night.....

I seriously burst into tears when they gave this to me
I was talking at the afterparty to one of the members of the team who chose me as MVP, and she said "Yeah, we were talking about who should get MVP, and someone said 'Queenie', and then we were all like 'Yeah!  Definitely Queenie!'" which made my cold little shriveled black heart grow about eight sizes.

And, to make a perfect night even perfecter, when I got to the afterparty, I parallel parked on a majorly busy street and only stalled my car twice.


Tuesday, November 6, 2012


I didn't realize it'd been so long since last I posted; I know y'all are HANGING ONTO MY EVERY WORD.

Some of the issues that plagued the league since its inception are rearing their ugly heads again - basically the gulf between our A team and our B team.  The A team gets to go to the tournaments, gets to work towards a concrete "it is out there" goal - WFTDA rankings.

The B team gets a pat on the head and a "hey, good for you!"

I realize this specifically isn't the fault of my league, that WFTDA doesn't have anything in place for B teams, but it's kinda frustrating when the only goal that's really out there for B team members practice real  hard and get on the A team.

Anyway.  We've got a bout on Saturday and all the spazziness that shall entail.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

it was bound to happen

we are no longer undefeated. :(  We lost one of the two half-hour bouts we had on Saturday.

It was the penalties that did us in, unfortunately. ah well.  I still love my team. 

I managed to get a nosebleed DURING WARMUP, which was amusing in its own way.  And then I got a softball-sized bruise on my shin.

Monday, October 1, 2012


I went to Sunday practice yesterday.  Kinda had to - I want to make sure I get attendance.

It wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be - I mean, yeah, it was horrible, but I managed to survive it and I *almost* didn't end up sleeping the entire afternoon afterwards.

My knee (the left one) was troubling me, though.  I went down on it in the normal routine of things and was like OW, that hurt.  Then it happened again, and at that point I was like "okay, I'm done for the day." (Fortunately there was only about 15 minutes left in practice.)  That, plus the recent discovery that my kneepads tend to slide down if I fall too many times, is making me think I might want to procure some new ones soon. (Maybe as a birthday present to myself, as I will be turning - gasp - 39 - before the end of the month.)

Scrimmage on Thursday was interesting, as it usually is.  While the other teams fielded their large benches, we    There was one point where I think I skated six jams in a row.  (It was only after I had to jam that I was like "ok, I would like a break right now.")

The wart on my heel is still an issue.  It's not gone yet, and they've been attacking it with lasers pretty heavily.  Sometimes it's fine, and sometimes it really hurts.  Right now it's in an "ow" phase, which makes skating fun.  And by "fun", I mean "I really could use an adrenaline rush to not feel this, yo." 

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

why hello there!

Let's see....

1. Maverick and I went to North Central Regionals a weekend or two ago.  SO COOL.  It was neat seeing teams I'd never seen before.  And the FOOTWORK!  Holy crap they can juke. While I was there I bought new fancy bearings, and they do feel much quicker and spinnier.

2. Practices have been going well.  Last night we were doing a drill where we needed to hit the jammer out of bounds before we got too far away from the pack (as represented by a pacer).  I fell, but immediately tried to get up and yell "Briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiidge!" to let my partner know to keep going.  That received a lot of laughs, and a "you are, like, the most 'I won't quit' person" comment (which I appreciated).

3. On the suggestion of my captain, I've been lowering my toestops.  Since we do a *lot* of toestop work, this has made me feel less of a ballerina.

4. We're instigating some new rules for the remainder of the home season - no minors, everybody starts on the same whistle, whatnot.  We had our first scrimmage with it on Thursday and holy cow was it a clusterfuck.  There were points where one team had NOBODY on the track (two blockers in the box, and the other two blockers were both on their way to the box because they got majors from two different refs at the same time).  Because there was no pack, we (the team with a full contingent) had to let their jammer go by (and get all our points), which was a pretty crappy perfect storm.  We determined our only way to combat that was to just start booking until one of the other team's blockers got back on the track.

5. Maverick wants to work our merch booth next bout.  Sweet!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

excuse my outburst here

So, once again, even with a smaller roster (11 skaters), even with the other teams stacking their rosters against us, we won both our half-hour bouts (151-59, and then 162-124).  YAY US!

However, a bunch of fans were bitching on our Facebook page about how they dislike slow derby and how the bouts my team played in were soooooooooo boring and if they were all going to be like that they weren't going to buy tickets anymore because it was sooooooooo boring and how they didn't understand what was going on because they were in the bathroom when the announcers were explaining slow derby strategy WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY OUR FAULT and the third bout of the night was soooooooo much more exciting because they didn't play slow derby and THANK YOU SO MUCH TEAMS WHO PLAYED IN THE THIRD BOUT FOR NOT BEING SOOOOOOOOO BORING.

I'm only exaggerating a little.

Our fans are used to the big windy-up hits that send skaters into the front row of seats.  They're used to mad scrambles and chasing and racing and whatnot.  Slow derby is the evolution of the sport as our league has chosen to see it.  My team was successful in implementing it in the first two bouts, so that is what the fans saw.  I didn't witness the third bout (I was helping close up the box office) but from what I understand it wasn't so much "fast pack" as it was "trying to do slow pack and failing + sloppy play".

So this is my message to the Facebook fans:

1. Football fans thought the forward pass made the game soooooooooooo boring at first

Friday, September 7, 2012

my sparkling moment of awesomeness

So last night was scrimmage night.  The referees were trying out new people in different spots; as a result a LOT of penalties got called.

At one point I was the ONLY person from my team on the track*.  The other team had a full contingent.  Their jammer was fast approaching the pack.  The other team was lined up in front of me, I was in back....


(insert cheers and fireworks here)

Oh, and tomorrow's bout day.  Yay!

*Jammer and two blockers in the box, one blocker on her way to the box (to eventually get waved off)

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

ow, ow, OW

So I sprained my left thumb and skinned my knee at practice last night.  Dammit, they both hurt.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012


so when we started the season, our team had eighteen rostered skaters.

Three of those skaters are pregnant (or recently gave birth).
Three of those skaters started the season injured.
We've since lost three more skaters to injury (one broke her arm last night at practice).



It's weird going to scrimmage night and seeing the deep, deep benches of the other teams, and we're there with our five, or six, or seven skaters who are able to show up on that given night.  (On the other hand, apparently skaters on the other teams are complaining that they're not getting enough skating time, and we're like, "okay, three jams in a row and then I'll take one off and then go back in", which I actually don't mind, and by "actually don't mind", I mean "LOVE".)

The other teams keep asking us if we want to borrow players, and we haven't, and honestly I hope that continues.  We have a good, tight knot of skaters and we work really well together.  Our practices are tight and we don't have to wait for all the little conversations to die out to hear our coaches and captains talking.

Anyway.  Last night was pretty good if you overlook the part where my teammate broke her arm.  I concentrated on agility - getting up on my toe stops, concentrating on being on only one skate at a time at any point.  Someone suggested a new way for me to get out of a cluster of opposing blockers, and if I can get it to work (i.e., not fall over), it should be pretty awesome and completely legal (I did it once, the blockers kinda looked at the ref, and he was basically like "shrug, she didn't do anything illegal").

In other news, the wart on my heel is turning into a crater.  It's fascinating in a revolting way - I was examining it with a pair of tweezers last night, picking out wart bits and seeing how far I could stick the tweezers into the hole (at least 1/4").  It doesn't hurt anymore, which is awesome, so now I can get back to doing plow stops.

Thursday, August 23, 2012


There's this whole controversy arising now about Oly recruting ringers for their team right before the regionals deadline.  Here's what I posted on my league's Yahoo group about it:

"I just keep thinking about the skaters that get cut from a team's roster to fit the ringers.  

"They work their asses off for the whole season, blood and sweat and tears, work hard with their teammates.  They train, they learn, they become a unit with their team.  They work and work and work and get that spot in Regionals.  

"Then they're told 'Hey, guess what?  Y'know this thing you and your teammate just spent months and months working towards? Well, we really want to win it, and we don't think you're good enough to get us there.  So we're replacing you with someone else.'

"As for Atomatrix, she said it herself: 'I'm taking a spot that someone else deserves.'"

 So yeah.  That probably says more about me than anything else.

(also - I read a comment one of the skaters who was cut wrote, which was basically like "This will just inspire me to WORK HARDER DON'T FEEL PITY FOR ME", which I understand, but I would totally not be that way at all.  I'd probably want to set fire to the practice space or something.)

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

various items

so, I now can officially say that I've thrown up during a practice.  Whee?

Monday's team practice warmup (when this happened) wasn't necessarily *harder* than usual, but it was more relentless (and I *guess* I pushed myself harder?)  Anyway, I felt better afterwards, finished up the practice and can cross that off my bucket list.

I think my skate boots are *finally* broken in, because all the trouble I was having with my toes in the last few months has vanished.  Yay!

In other news.... going back to this, skating has been okay with it except for plow stops.  For whatever reason, I end up putting a lot of pressure on my foot RIGHT WHERE THE THING IS when I plow stop, which makes for derpy-looking plow stops (as evidenced by Monday's practice, where I would do these lame plow stops in the pack and my teammates would have to grab my shirt and pull me back to stop me).  Anyway, yesterday I had a follow-up appointment and my dermatologist did a little digging around with a razor and was like "hm, now it seems more like a wart, and it's pretty deep" and then suggested treating it more aggressively and I was like "YES LET'S GO AGGRESSIVE" and I got LASERS SHOT AT MY FOOT.

DERMATOLOGIST: Do you usually take acetaminophen or ibuprofen for pain?
ME (in my head): I SKATE IT OFF.

After the anesthesia wore off (she said it would take an hour and a half; it took ABOUT FIVE MINUTES), I can now barely put any weight on my heel right now without it really really hurting.  Four ibuprofen fixes it, but every six hours I have to take more.  It'd better be better by Thursday, 'cause I got scrimmage.

Friday, August 17, 2012


So last night was league scrimmage night.  Our home teams divided up and prepared to play.

One team had about thirteen skaters.  The other pretty much had its full roster of twenty.



We were communicating.  We were sticking together.  We let each other know where we needed to go.  No one complained about having to skate multiple jams in a row (I think at one point I did four in a row, then sat one out, then jammed).

God, I love my team.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

so an update of sorts

So let's see...big news?  Any?  I got food poisoning last week (food poisoning really sucks.  Who knew?) and missed the first home team practice of the season.  We scrimmaged on the 9th and I think I did ok.  Had practice on Monday and I almost puked during the warm up; so what else is new.  I've found that I sweat a lot more profusely than I have in the past; apparently this is not a bad thing.

The corn on my heel doesn't seem to be getting much better.  Plow stops really frickin' hurt.  I have a follow up appointment on Tuesday; I'll have to ask my dermatologist for some suggestions.

We're coming up on league elections again; no one has really stepped forward and it's REALLY REALLY HARD for me not to go "well.....I suppose I could run for vice president..." NO, QUEENIE, NO.  Just....NO.  I can't handle the extra time/stress/whathaveyou.  I've done my part.  Someone else needs to step forward.

Our team is very short-staffed this season; we have two pregnant members, one who just gave birth about a week ago, one who's recovering from ACL surgery, one who's got foot problems....anyone else out?  Hrm.  At any rate, the other home teams seem to be hovering around 15-16 members. We have ten.  BUT WE CAN DO IT.  WE WON THE LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP WITH THAT MANY PEOPLE.  At the first league scrimmage NO ONE complained about having to do multiple jams in a row.  We are a great unit together and I'm very happy it's home season again.

Friday, August 3, 2012

and thus beginneth the home season

we had a league meeting tonight and then about half an hour to practice.  I'm very happy to be back with my  home team compatriots - even though sooooo many of us are either pregnant or injured.  It was a tough practice - my hair was dripping with sweat and I thought I was gonna puke - but I got through the planks and the hip touches and the dolphins and all that.  Yay me.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012


I skated yesterday.  My ankle was fine.  However......

Back in May, I started to develop a sore spot on the heel of my right foot.  It didn't look weird or anything, it just hurt if I put any sort of weight on it.  I ignored it for the better part of two months, and then was like OKAY THIS SUCKS I CAN'T WALK I NEED TO GET IT LOOKED AT.  So I went to my doctor who said that it looked like a wart was forming deep and that I should go to the dermatologist.  So I went to the dermatologist last week (and had to wait 45 minutes to see her LIKE I ALWAYS DO EVERY TIME I GO TO HER) and she determined it was a corn, not a wart, and grabbed a razor and scraped it out.

I'm supposed to keep a wart remover pad on it, but it's on my heel so it slides around and falls off, so I keep it secured with duct tape and I wore extra-squishy soled socks on purpose.  Anyway I was skating last night sprinting to keep up with someone and my heel was like OW OW OW OW OW FUCK THAT NOISE OW.  So at that point I stopped.

There's a little over a week until home team practices start again and I know we're going to start out 100% balls-to-the-wall, so I hope it gets better by then.

Monday, July 23, 2012


I know I said I wouldn't skate until home season started (8/2) in order to give my ankle time to recover, but MY ANKLE FEELS FINE AND I REALLY WANNA SKATE NOW DAMMIT....

Maybe I'll skate but just not do any sort of contact.  Is that an acceptable compromise?

Thursday, July 19, 2012


My ankle is, like, at 99.99999% functionability (and yes, THAT IS A WORD).

Monday night was new skater practice, and we had them play Connect Four, which is this thing we do where four skaters go out on the track at once and just try to knock everyone else down.  If you go down or go out of bounds, you're out and someone takes your place.

The more accomplished skaters were laying out decent hits, but some of them were still "oh, I'm going to bump you lightly on the shoulder with my shoulder" and I just wanted to go out there and LAY THEM OUT FLAT.

(One skater had a TOTAL TEXTBOOK AWESOME booty to the thigh hit that swept both of that skater's feet out from her.  That was AWESOME.)

Our home practices start 8/2, and I plan on being off skates until then just to let my ankle fix itself up.  Whee!

Saturday, July 14, 2012

ah crap

So we scrimmaged on Thursday to help out the A team (they are doing a doubleheader tomorrow for WFTDA standings) and I was jamming, and I just - fell.  My ankle was ow.  I tried getting up, but I was like "no, not gonna try.  I'm done."  They helped me over to the bench, got me ice, and I sat the rest of the time.

It got worse yesterday, so I started getting nervous and called my doctor's office.  They said to go to the ortho care guys, who did an X ray and determined that it wasn't broken (thank God), just sprained.

"So hey," the ortho doc said.  "We're doing a study about the effect of Platelet-Rich Plasma on ankle sprains.  Wanna take part?"

"Sure," I said.  So, they took a blood sample (the chick who did it screwed up the first time [they need to use a larger diameter needle than, say, a blood donation, and she didn't get it fully in the vein and it ended up trickling down my arm] so they had a nurse take the sample through my wrist) and then a few minutes later they came back and injected either the PRP or saline into my ankle.

OH MY GOD.  It felt like he put the needle into my ankle and then decided to pull the needle OUT THROUGH MY SKIN IN WHICH WAS BURIED ALL AT ONCE.  I was actually yelling OW, OW, OW.  I have some surveys I will need to fill out, and PT to do, and they gave me a walking boot.

It feels a bazillion times better now, but I will, of course, treat it carefully.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

fun and entertainment

last night I went to the refs' practice to help them out with stuff.  It was a lot of fun - they asked us to run packs with specific events happening (skaters chasing the jammers out of play, etc.).  I purposely didn't wear my mouthguard* for three jams to see if anyone noticed.

The best part, though, was when one of the refs called me on a major and I just screamed "FUCK YOU, REF!" to see what he'd do. (I got a major for insubordination, a lot of laughs, and a few "wow, Queenie!"s because I'm usually such a nice person.)

So yeah.  I think this was the last ref practice, which is kind of a bummer because that was mucho fun.

*everyone knew to stay away from me and I just skated around very slowly

Saturday, July 7, 2012




Tuesday, July 3, 2012

er, yah?

so between helping out with the Quarry skaters and helping out at refs' practice and helping the A team get ready for a double-header scrimmage in a week or two and going to board meetings and doing ticket stuff, BREAK? WHAT BREAK?

We had practice in the sauna (aka one of our old venues) on Sunday, and we played a bunch of games (Red Rover, Red Light Green Light, kickball) but we also did some pacelines.  It occurred to me, listening to the skaters behind me gasp and wheeze in the paceline when I was kind of like "oh, la de da" just how much my endurance has improved since I started.

Which brings me to my next hooray - next Monday is the fourth anniversary of my first derby practice. Yay!

Friday, June 29, 2012

and the beat, it goes on

so last night I was helping out with the Quarry and we were running "jam at a time", which basically meant that I jammed for 45 minutes straight.  WHEE.  By the end I was intentionally cutting the track to try and pull a major so I could sit down. (We ran it so that skaters were only out ten seconds, so I swore at the penalty box timer to try and get an insubordination major.)

I had a few surprising moments of agility, though - one where I did a very successful juke around a blocker and squeaked past her, and another where I kept trying to step but kept landing on, like, the side of my skate, but I didn't fall.  I eventually got my footing right and went through the pack.

Then I had a few unsurprising moments of no agility, like where I was approaching the back of the pack at full speed, tried to tomahawk to stop my momentum, and promptly fell over.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

eee cee dee ecks

So imagine my surprise when I realized that of our entire league, I was the only skater who was in any sort of scrimmage/bout.


So I freaked out, just a little.  And by a little, I mean a lot.

Southpaws lost the bout by a crazy margin, but it was fun.  The other skaters were like "c'mon, let's do this strategy" and I was like "okay, even though we never do that strategy in this situation".  I jammed and got lead jam and then immediately backblocked someone.

But everyone said I represented well, so I'm content.

Didn't have any luck with the Riedell people on my skates, so I think I'm going to try and get very sturdy toe guards and hope that works.

And I *didn't* lose my engagement ring this time. :)

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

summer breeze makes me feel fine

Friday  night one of my teammates is renewing her vows with her husband (read: open bar and dancing ALL NIGHT LONG) and then early Saturday AM I'm heading out with another one of my teammates to ECDX.  Whee!  And then things get quiet but not really because I'm still skating 2x a week helping with the Quarry.  And then home team practices start up again in August. 

I wonder if there will be a Riedell rep at ECDX so I can be like HEY GUYS WHY ARE YOUR BOOTS HURTING MY FEET SO MUCH DAMMIT.  (I'm rostered for a fun challenge bout, Southpaws vs. Right-Ons, Saturday at 4, so I will be bringing all my gear so I can throw my skates at someone and say FIX THIS NOW DAMMIT.)

Friday, June 8, 2012

Update #2

Last Saturday was the season closer bout.  I didn't skate because of all the reasons I've previously mentioned.  Maverick helped me in the box office and he told me he really liked it (FREE CHILD LABOR FOR NEXT SEASON!)  Both teams won, which was awesome, and then the after party was absolutely FANTASTIC.  We had our own private room in a dance club, with our own bar and DJ, and people from other parts of the club were standing outside going "your music is awesome, the music out here sucks."  WE NEED MOAR PARTIEZ LIKE THAT (except I need to be able to drink more - I drove so I only had one as soon as I got there). 

Monday, June 4, 2012


Thursday the 31st was the Quarry Scrimmage.  ZOMFG the track was slick.  Dusty concrete and HELLO SLIDING. 

They're a newer league, and their referee staff is not quite up to snuff (witness:  me as jammer, having to deal with one blocker they weren't calling out of play even though the pack was at LEAST a quarter of the track away [and more like half the track], points not being awarded properly, stuff like that).  We lost, but not by much, and if they'd given us points properly it would've been a lot closer.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

I enjoy weekends like that

Weekend Highlight (Non-Roller Derby Division): running into my most favorite professor from college outside his house, and having him remember me, seventeen years after I graduated.

Weekend Highlight (Roller Derby Division): looking at the scoreboard about ten minutes into the bout and seeing the score is 101 - 0.  (The final score was 322-105.)

A close second goes to the afterparty.

Friday, May 18, 2012

bout weekend WAHOO

This bout's kinda cool because it is about ten minutes away from where I went to college (Vassar), so I'm leaving a few hours earlier and gonna take some time and wander around the campus.  I haven't been back in years, so it'll be interesting to see how things have changed since the (gulp) early 90's.  Plus there's a Sonic on the way WAHOO.

Saturday will be my last bout for the season; I took myself off the availability for the final home bout (June 2).  I've been helping out with the fresh meat skaters and they have a scrimmage the last practice before the home bout, and I said I'd skate in that, and I need to be going to practices with them, and Roy has to work the weekend of the bout and someone would need to keep an eye on Maverick, and so on and so on and so forth.  So yeah, this'll be it for me for the season.  (there's a final away bout on June 16, but I have had too many things going on on weekends for the last year now, so I've been cutting back in the last few months).

This season was....weird.  Being out for several months for my knee injury was really frustrating, and I felt like I never really got my mojo back completely.  (That whole away bout thing didn't help either.)   We get, like, a month off, and then start practices again in August for the home season. 

Monday, May 14, 2012

ok, yeah, I'm old, JUST GIVE ME A REMINDER OF IT

Yesterday at practice I was asked to sing to distract the skaters who were doing wall-sits.  Instead of singing, I related a bit of information I had just been reminded of earlier in the day - that Steve Clark, one of the guitarists of Def Leppard, had died twenty-one years ago, in 1991.

"I wasn't born yet in 1991!" one of the new skaters chirped happily as she geared up.


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

oh this is awesome

So I'm not sure if I've gone into the full story of my helmet(s), so here we go.

When I first first first started playing derby, my helmet was the usual mishmash of stickers and whatnot. 

Helmet 1.0

At some point I decided that I wanted to have a crown painted on my helmet, so I asked one of my teammates to do it for me.
Helmet 1.1

I liked having such a distinct helmet because it was easy to find myself in pictures.  (It also worried me when the occasional "hey we should all have matching helmets because that would look fierce" conversations would bubble up, because MY HELMET IS MY THANG.)

Anyway, I wore that helmet for two seasons.  (During Season #2, another teammate glued little jewels to the points on the crown, to make it bling.) 

Between Season #2 and Season #3, I decided to get a new helmet, which required a new crown.  I had another teammate do it up for me.  This one was much more bling-y.
Helmet 2.0
I liked this one because it was big and colorful and HEY LOOKIT ME.  The only problem was that if I wore a pivot cover, it looked all lumpy and tumor-riffic.

At the end of Season #3, I realized that the lining from my helmet had come completely unglued from the shell of the helmet.  YIPES!  TIME FOR A NEW HELMET!

Since I didn't have a spare helmet to wear while waiting for someone to paint a crown on my helmet, I took matters into my own hands.

Helmet 3.0

Because of my knee injury, I didn't skate much at the start of the season and probably could've had someone paint my helmet fairly early on, but I didn't.  My helmet looked like this pretty much until last week when I asked another teammate to paint it for me. (I wore a spare helmet from the gear bin for about a week.)

And here it is!

Helmet 3.1

I LOVE it.  It's stylized, it's simple, it's elegant, there's no jewels to give me helmet cover tumors.

 (I also have to include this picture - one of the refs and my teammate (who did Helmet 3.1) were playing Draw Something, and the ref's word was "Queen")

This is my Facebook profile picture

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

apparently yesterday was "knock the crap out of kicktoria day" and I missed the memo

Ugh.  It's odd, though - I took some hits that people kept coming up to me later going "are you okay? are you okay?" and I was totally fine, but the one hit that really floored me, the one that I had to take a few seconds to catch my breath and recover from (a full-force hit to my chest that *still* aches a bit over twelve hours later), no one really said anything.

Ah well.

Monday, April 30, 2012

so! hm.

Not much to report.  I didn't go to practice last Monday 'cause I had just spent the entire weekend away from my family and wanted to just chillax with them and whatnot (and, of course, Roy decides to go bowling that night. ANYWAY). 

Thursday was scrimmage, and it was my usual frustrating attempt at jamming and fairly decent time blocking. 

Last night was Quarry, spent time helpin' out.  I feel bad for them because I'm such a horrible teacher - one skater was asking me about transitioning from forward to backward skating, asking me how I do it and I was like "ummmm....I it."  Eventually I was able to do it slowly enough that she could see and copy, but it's such muscle memory to me at this point that I can't explain it to people.

I've asked one of the skaters on the league to paint my helmet with a crown on it.  I have a loaner helmet right now so we'll see how it goes tonight. 

Monday, April 23, 2012

the weekend

We left on Friday about 6:30pm.  Got to the hotel in New Hampshire about 3am.  That was miserable.

Saturday we discovered we were about half an hour from the ocean.  TRIP FOR LUNCH!  The weather was amaaaaayyyyzing - sunny and temperatures in the 70's.  (Meanwhile back home it was rainy and in the low 40's, which made us cackle.)  We had an awesome lunch at an oceanside restaurant and just enough time to do a little window shopping before we had to go to the venue.

The A team played first, which was unusual for us.  It was weird getting warmed up and then SITTING for an hour + watching our leaguemates play.  (The whole venue was kinda weird - there were 150 fans TOPS.)  It was a crazy close game and Skate Free or Die won, 134-132.

Then it was our turn. 

During the first half, I played in ONE jam.  There were three lineups (power and then two) and I was supposed to switch out with someone else in one of the lineups, but they kept playing her instead.  If someone was out on a penalty, either she or I would sit out.  When one skater got injured (which brought us down to eleven, a perfect two lineup + three jammer rotation), they still didn't switch it up.  Honestly, we were getting pissed (and my teammate is the kind of person who is *always* happy, so for her to get pissed, it takes a lot). 

Finally I got to play more in the second half, and people were commenting on the hits I was making.  We ended up slaughtering them, 183-73. 

Afterwards, the coach and bench manager came up to me separately, telling me what a good job I'd done out there (and the bench manager apologized).  So I'm going to treat it as "we didn't want to play you too much at first because we wanted to test you on coming back after your injury, and you passed".

Then we went and got $4 Long Island Iced Teas.  Many of them.

Yesterday was spent driving back home, got in around 7pm.  Woke up this morning to snow and miserable weather.

Friday, April 20, 2012

a realization or two or three or twelve or one

I'm not very agile on my skates.  I can't hop around and juke around other players.  I need to work on that.

I can, however, take a hit pretty well. (I think.)  I was jamming last night against the A team and they'd wind up and hit me with everything they had and I'd bobble, but not fall.  (Although that's another thing I need to work on.  When they'd gear up to hit me, I'd brace myself for the hit, rather than moving out of its way.)

Another thing I do quite frequently is I'll spin to get out of a tough situation, or in the aftermath of a hit (giving one or receiving one).  It came in very handy last night, when I was able to pirouette out of the way of one of the A team's heaviest hitters to break the pack.

I also need to get lower.  When I'm low, it's easy to get past other players.  NEED TO REMEMBER THAT.

Tomorrow's my first bout with my team in almost six months.  I'm kinda glad it's an away bout, as if I horrifically embarrass myself, it'll be in front of strangers.


Oh, the Fuel Band thing worked AWESOMELY during scrimmage.  It tucked right under my wrist guard, and I got about 1000 points for the practice.  Yay!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

so I'm a sucker for shiny pretty gadgets

behold my Nike+ FuelBand!

I tried it with my wrist guard last night and it fits underneath the guard fine, so I'll try it out tonight at scrimmage and see if it works.  I tried wearing a FitBit once but it didn't work (since that's really more of a pedometer).

Plus, the commercial for it has Twin Peaks, "Sabotage", Whip It!, Slap Shot and a bunch of other cool stuff..  (I'm a sheep, baaaaa.)

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

how far I've come, or something like that

I was brushing my teeth this morning and was reminded:

I joined our league in July 2008, and my first bout was in November 2008 (as a member of a pickup team mostly comprised of another league).  A few days before that bout, those of us skating traveled to that league to practice with them.  Their coach had us do an endurance drill that left me in total and complete tears at the end.

Nowadays, we probably do drills that make that seem like NOTHING AT ALL.

so, yay.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


I think I got my mojo back!  Last night's practice was *really* good.  I knew what I was doing, I could do it, I didn't get annoyed and frustrated, etc.

a few highlights:

- I chased after the opposing jammer as she broke the pack, CAUGHT UP TO HER AND PUSHED HER OUT OF BOUNDS.  Of course, I was so excited I'd been able to do it that I kept doing it waaaaaaay out of bounds and would've gotten a penalty if we'd actually been playing.  BUT ACTUALLY CHASING THE JAMMER WORKED!

- Mid-scrimmage, one of my teammates fell pretty much right in front of me.  I got my skates wide and she went BETWEEN MY LEGS.  Fortunately she did not get up right then or I would've taken a helmet to the ladybits.

- We did some "breaking a wall down" drills.  Coach Dude was like (to me) "you're looking at the blockers, and you're looking at the floor.  Look for the spaces."  It made sense, and I tried doing it, but it was difficult.  SOMETHING TO WORK ON.

- In the same "breaking a wall down" drills, as part of the wall, the two blockers on the outside of the wall had the jammer behind them.  When no one expected it, I swooped in from the inside and knocked her out of bounds.  GO ME

You'd think that if you're doing a plow stop on a straightaway, it wouldn't matter if you were going in derby direction or opposite derby direction.  IT DOES.  All of us were having issues trying to do them going clockwise.  It was weird.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

yay, cool!

Two of the fun bouts I signed up for at ECDX were picked - Southpaws v. Rightons (I'm a lefty) and Bumblebees v. Ladybugs (LADYBUGS FTW).

i got in fairly early this year, so hopefully I'll get on the roster for at least one of them.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012


I've been rostered!

It's in New Hampshire - and not "just over the Vermont border New Hampshire", but "spit and you'll hit Maine New Hampshire."  About an eight hour drive.  And the bout starts at 4pm.

Methinks I will be leaving Friday afternoon and staying over.

I had my last PT session; Jeremy sees fit that I don't need to see him again unless I want to.  He asked me on a scale of 1 to 10 how I felt my roller derby playing was now (10 being back to where I was before), and I told him "8.5 to 9, but the rest is mental", which is the case.

I wonder if it's my skates.  I know last Thursday I had to tighten the hell out of my trucks cause I felt wobbly.  Maybe next skating time (Sunday) I'll go back to my old skates and see if I still have issues.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

ow ow OW ow ow

So we had practice last night at our bout venue rather than the rink because it's Spring Break for the kids and whatever. 

Remember last week how I hit my butt and had to ice it?  I KEPT HITTING THE SAME SPOT.  REPEATEDLY.  I finally just gave up on scrimmaging because it hurt so much.  (It still is sore, and last night I actually broke down and took some naproxen for it, which I *never* do.)

Friday, April 6, 2012

last night

was better.  I felt like I accomplished a few things (even though I had trouble remembering what color I was in scrimmage and kept announcing the wrong color jammer was approaching the pack).

Jamming was annoying, but so what else is new.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

might as well update

yesterday I finished the helmet covers for CNYRD - sixteen total.  I'm improving my technique with each one, I think, but I still am having trouble cutting the stars so they look pretty (I can't do it with a rotary cutter because I can't get the cutter into the angle at the center of the star, so I have to trace them, which is kind of a pain.  I've tried the thing where you fold the fabric and make a single cut to make a star (a la Betsy Ross) but I don't cut at the proper angle and it turns into a blob) and then I have trouble sewing them on so they don't all bunch up.

Pivot covers, though, I'm a frickin' expert.

scrimmage tonight, should be fun.  Hopefully I will get my act together and won't feel like such a waste on the track. 

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

a thought, or a goal, or something

so in addition to our roller rink practice space, there's an ice rink that puts down sport court in the summer that we use for practice space.  During the week, they're open during the day for free skating.  (They also have our track permanently taped down on the floor.)

I think once they're open, I'm going to try and get there as often as I can to practice speed and endurance stuff.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012


Injury Report for Last Night:

1. Early on, I fell kinda backwards and landed on my right hand, with my elbow locked, so all the force went up into it.  Ow.

2. Then I fell on my butt (not my tailbone, fortunately) after getting knocked down again.

3. During our endurance sprints, I hit a spot on the floor that people previously had mentioned as being slippery.  My feet literally shot out sideways (at least that's what it felt like) and I hit the track pretty hard.

I was up at 3am alternating an icepack between #1 and #2.  BUT IT DOES SHOW THAT I KNOW MY ASS FROM MY ELBOW.

I'm still floundering.  Getting worse, even, it feels like.  It occurred to me this morning that I don't think I looked around ONCE during our scrimmage part of practices.  WTF, Queenie?  That's frickin' Derby 101.  Blah.

We're changing up the way we're playing - not fielding a pivot, not giving our lineups specific positions to play, everyone cramming up by the jammer line - and I don't like it.  It's not what I'm used to.  There's no time to really set up strategy when the beginning of the jam is a big game of backwards Red Rover.  OCCUPY THE PIVOT LINE! All these changes in our team really started while I was out on my injury, so now I'm getting thrown into it when everyone else has had experience with it.  Sigh, argh, bleh.

I wonder if any of it has to do with my skates, that I'm really not as stable on them as I think I am.  I wonder if I should switch back to my old skates just for one practice and see how I do.  It can't hurt, I suppose.

Monday, April 2, 2012

ah well

I wasn't rostered for our next bout (the first one I figured I'd be eligible for), and I'm not as OMFGWTFGRAR QUEENIE SMASH as I thought I'd be.  It's sort of a world-weary "they're right, I'm not where I should be" acceptance.  I'll just have to work harder and whatnot.

In other news, I signed up for a few of the fun ECDX bouts.  We'll see if they get into the lottery.

Friday, March 30, 2012

another Thursday, another scrimmage

so I still don't feel like I'm where I should be.  I'm still falling too much and not keeping up and whatnot.  Sigh.

In other jamming news, there were a few interesting outtakes from last night -

first time I jammed, I got lead, and went around and around until I remembered HEY I CAN STOP THIS INSANITY ANY TIME I WANT and called it off.

then, another time I was jamming, I got hit in such a way that I ended up JAMMING BACKWARDS.  The reaction was pretty much what it was the first time we ever saw a star pass - "um....okay, what the fuck do we do now?"  I skated that way for about a quarter of the track, got myself turned around by taking a hip whip off a teammate - and *then* I fell.  It was amusing, anyway.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

once again, I entitle a blog entry "so"

Jeremy said that I should come in one more time before April 14 (theoretically the next bout I'd be in, hopefully the captains will post the roster soon), as sort of an "exit interview" PT session. AND THEN I BE DONE.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

aaaaaaaaaaaaand life goes on

I have another PT session this morning.  I'm going to go in and be like "I skated in a full-contact, full-length scrimmage on Sunday with no ill effects. MY WORK HERE IS DONE"

Monday, March 26, 2012


So!  Another weekend.  Friday I went with a bunch of friends (and my sister, who came into town) to a local high school production of Xanadu.  One of my teammates was the roller skating director, and these were the kids I was supposed to help out that one time but I felt like crap so I didn't.

Holy cow high school theater productions have changed since I was in them.  Microphones!  More than just a piano for the instrument accompaniment!  It was really awesome, and the kids did a great job with their roller skating and it was a lot of fun.

Saturday was bout night, at the college we had the bout at last year at this time (our normal venue is booked every weekend in March from now until the end of time).  It was crazy, the A team won, wahoo and yay.  I got to watch the bout this time, as the college handled tickets and therefore I didn't have to work box office.

Sunday we had are Quarry scrimmage against the B-team/fresh meat of the A team.  Guh, I hadn't scrimmaged in MONTHS and I could tell.  They had me jamming in one of the lineups, but because of penalties and whatnot I didn't jam that often.  One time I got lead jam but just as I did I got knocked down and didn't realize I was lead jam until I heard the coach yelling "QUEENIE CALL IT OFF".  Then there were a bunch of times when I broke the pack but wasn't lead jam and the lead jammer called it off before I hit the pack again.  The last time, that happened, but I got to the pack again and got 4 points before the lead jammer called it, yay.

The whole scrimmage I just felt off, though.  My timing was all wrong and I felt vaguely shaky (note: you need more to eat than two mini muffins before playing) the whole time.  All the quarry people were like "You're awesome, I've never seen you in that mode before", but I was just like "I'm not at my best".

On Thursday I'd gotten a bunch of DVDs of previous bouts and scrimmages so I scanned through them and watched 'em Sunday afternoon.  Man, I really need to work on cascading - time after time their jammer would pass me and I'd just give up.  SKATE TO THE FRONT, QUEENIE.  HIT THEM AGAIN.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, last night was final Boot Camp for this session.  Our peeps look good. 

This morning, I felt like someone had put a hamburger press on my body - all I could move were my hands and feet.  GUH.  I'm wussing out of practice tonight - I need to recover.

Friday, March 23, 2012


So last night was a full scrimmage, the whole nine yards.  I even jammed, at one point.  (Didn't break the pack, but I didn't give up, and I felt like I took a lot of hard hits and I didn't fall.)

I feel like I've lost a *lot* of ground during the time I was out with my knee issues.  I'm slower, I can't quite keep up as well as I should, I have a little bit of "oh crap what am I supposed to do right now" still going on.

Our league's tendency when playing now is to crowd up against the jammer line, which I just do not like at all.  It turns the beginning of the jam into a cluster fuck that is just not any fun.  Sigh.  I s'pose I'll just have to get used to it.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

your humble narrator and Maverick, from the parade

I *love* this picture


Me (after a hitting drill): Did I tell you I'm back to full contact now?
The Ref Who Was Assigned to Be My Partner: I think you just did.

Ah, roller derby, I love you so.

Monday, March 19, 2012


so last night I skated with the Quarriors, as I'm skating with them during next Sunday's scrimmage.  I was a little too bloodlusty, though, as I got a lot of illegal blocking calls.  IT'S JUST BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN TO KNOCK SOMEONE DOWN.

Saturday, March 17, 2012


they estimated between 100,000 and 150,000 people came to the parade this year.  they think it was the largest parade in the city EVER.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I love to skate, and practice, and scrimmage

So last night I helped with the newer skaters who are scrimmaging on the 25th.  I was sort of the "perma-jammer", and one of the referees and I would practice going through their packs at different times, together, alternate sitting in the box, etc., so they could formulate their strategy as to what they should do and do it.

My knee felt perfectly fine the whole evening.  Granted, they're new so they weren't really hitting too hard, but there were one or two skaters who really knocked me for a loop.

Plus I got a new fresh spot of rink rash, about the size of my fist, on my upper leg.  Yay! (not really)

Monday, March 12, 2012

the beat, as they say, goes on

Last night was more Boot Camp.  T stops and plow stops and positional blocking and weaving and jumping, oh my!  There are a few skaters who need a little help, but for the most part everyone's really got the hang of the skating basics, which is nice.

Our team practice was cancelled tonight but the practice time is going to the Quarriors, so I'll go help out with them.  Maybe I can even scrimmage with them! 

St. Patrick's Day parade is this Saturday and so far, knock on wood, the weather looks PHENOMENAL.  Sunny and mid 60's? YES PLEASE

Friday, March 9, 2012


so I went to practice last night figuring I would do just random skating around the outside edges. 

But then I actually tried putting my kneepad on over my brace (as opposed to when I did it before, which was in the back seat of my car in a rush and whatnot) and.....

It wasn't bad at all.  The back initial straps were a little strained, but I could crank the second level of straps down and they held.

So that meant, in the last part of the evening, I GOT TO SCRIMMAGE WAHOO!  For the first time in, like, a real long time (since I didn't even get to the scrimmage part of the first practice where I initially hurt myself).

I did feel very OH CRAP I'M OUT HERE NOW REMIND ME WHAT I NEED TO DO, but I did get some good positional blocking on the other team's jammer and heard some "Go, Queenie!" cheers from the bench, which made me feel good.  I also realized that if you're positionally blocking the other team's jammer, you don't necessarily need to go for the big knock-out hit.  Someone else can do that for you.

So yeah, I got to scrimmage, wahoo, and I think I should be ok in time to be rostered for the April 14th bout (depending, of course, on what my captains say).

Wednesday, March 7, 2012


so Monday I went to practice.  Did the full warmup, did one-on-one drills with no problem (except that my partner in the drills was one of my really good friends so we were giggling and otherwise cracking up the whole time). 

We were in the middle of a demonstration that kinda turned into a scrimmage when I fell really awkwardly and was like OH NO MY KNEE.  I immediately got off the track and iced it and sat out the rest of practice, but was fine yesterday.

This morning I had PT and told Jeremy how things went.  THEN I told him as sort of a "hey, I never mentioned this before but probably should have" thing that I haven't been wearing my brace while skating.  He was like "thaaaaaaaaaaaaat's......really when you should be wearing your brace without a doubt.  Like, it's more important than your knee pad."  Whoops!  I tried putting my kneepad on over my brace but it was really awkward and didn't really fit, so I will probably have to call the ortho guy and ask for a prescription for a slimmer profiled knee brace WHEE.

Monday, March 5, 2012

moving forward and all that

So last night we started a new batch o'Fresh Meat (we're calling them "312 Quarry", since they started in March 2012).  There's about fifteen or so, which is pretty kewl.  I feel privileged to be part of their learning process, even though most of the time I can't explain exactly what it is I'm doing ("okay....just kinda push out with your inner wheels?  or push in with your outer wheels.  One or the other.")

With our 911 Quarry (September 2011), we were doing some pack work.  I ended up being a jammer, which was cool because I got knocked around quite a bit and my knee was fine.  It was a little achy afterwards, but whatever.  I'm going to try one-on-one drills at practice tonight and will probably just end up saying SCREW IT I'M FINE and be scrimmaging by the end of practice.

Our neighbors to the east, Central New York Roller Derby, lost their practice space and a lot of their equipment in a fire, so I am making them new helmet covers.  Four sets of four, sixteen total.  I've finished both pivots for three of the sets and need to sew the stars on the jammers for the three sets.  (I also need to get some matching thread for the stars.) 

My boots are irritatingly switching between "fantastic" and "HAMMER TO THE TOES OW GODDAMMIT". Last night after doing an hour of T stops and plow stops my feet were killing me.  I've been getting a lot of "those plates look AWESOME" compliments lately, which is cool. 

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

another step closer

so at today's PT session I was cleared for one-on-one drills, amping it up as I felt comfortable.


(and I was *totally* on pace for a 10:56 mile but he made me slow down about 75% of the way through)

Monday, February 27, 2012

monday monday

Last night was another quarry scrimmage.  I WANT TO GET BACK TO PLAYING ROLLER DERBY SO BAD.  It kills me to not be out there knocking people out flat.  My knee is doing heaps better; I did one-knee falls with no trouble and my crossovers are just about pain and ache free.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Friday and the joy that goes with it

On Wednesday I went to Open Skate.  My skates have started to enter the OW OW OW breaking in period, so it was easy to ignore my knee when it felt like someone was smashing a hammer into my left big toe.

We've got another Boot Camp session starting on the 5th, and there were a few skaters at Open Skate who were planning on attending.  I got to talk to them and they're very excited about the prospect.  (And they can skate, too!  There are a few people in the last session who have a problem with that.)

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

inching towards normalcy

another day, another PT session. Jeremy said I "got a lot accomplished in an hour", which I suppose is encouraging.    One machine that I have to use (where you curl your legs back with a weight) didn't bug me nearly as much as it used to, which is good, right?

Anyway, he says as long as I keep doing my exercises at home, I don't have to come in again for a week, and that if things keep progressing, I can go back to light contact the practice after that!  Yaaaaaay!   

Monday, February 20, 2012


so we had our first bout of the season on Saturday.  it was "eleventy billion hours working the box office, see five minutes of derby, grab some food at the potluck, be unable to find a parking space at the after party", which seems to be par for the course these days, sigh.  Our team won, though, yaaaaaay!

Yesterday was a Fresh Meat Scrimmage, so I went and helped out.  Also did a little more time on my skates, which are becoming more and more awesome. 

Friday, February 17, 2012


So I skated last night at practice!  With my new skates!  Yay!

The Boots (Riedell 495) - they will take some breaking in (the edges are not padded, so they're rubbing up against my ankle), but they're very nice and snug and all that.  The heel-lock doesn't really seem to do that much.

The Plates (Sure-Grip Avenger, White Magnesium) - This is my first time on 45 degree plates.  I really noticed a difference (though it probably would've been a greater difference if I hadn't been off skates for over a month).  My turns seemed sharper, the (limited) cutting I did was quicker.  And they're so light!

The Wheels (Radar Diamond, 94A) - I want to marry these wheels.

So yeah.  I had PT again this morning and Jeremy told me I could skate again at Sunday's practice, same as Thursday (nice and gentle), and then mid-next week (we don't have practice but I might go to Adult Night Skate on Wednesday) I could work on picking up speed and starting cross-overs, and then the week after that I could get more into one-on-one drills.  Yaaaaaaay!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

who has two thumbs and can skate in very gentle laps?


I was told to not speed up in the turns. 


Monday, February 13, 2012

and the beat goes on

last night was the first veterans/fresh meat scrimmage. I so, so, so, so wish I could've been out there.  Instead, I kinda acted as bench manager, screaming "THE WHITE JAMMER IS COMING UP, WHAT DO YOU DOOOOOOOO?" and "GET A GOAT!  LOOK BEHIND YOU AND STOOOOOOOOOP!"

(that last word is "stop", not "stoop".)

Friday, February 10, 2012

and the days keep marching forward

PT session #3 today.  The chick I worked with today said she'd heard I was "fun to work with."  More knee crap, stretching and bending and stretching and step-ups and step-downs and balancing and clock steps and so on and so forth.

Hopefully after my next session Jeremy will let me get back on skates.  I hope I hope I hope.  The chick today was going to suggest I use the elliptical next time, which is the gateway to jogging, which is where Jeremy wanted me to be before going on skates.  Fingers crossed...

Thursday, February 9, 2012


I ended up not going to help with the Xanadu kids as I was just completely drained yesterday.  I fell asleep around 9pm and woke up at 8 this morning just as tired as I was at 9pm last night.

I wonder if I have mono or something.

Monday after practice I brought all the helmet panties home to wash and repair them.  They were lookin' kinda grungy.  The white-on-green ones I made last season, the seam around the bottom is starting to unravel (because I did it as a basting stitch and not a stretch stitch), and the stars on the really old original covers we got back in '08 are starting to come off.  I finally finally finally got around to finishing the green-on-white set of covers, so I'll bring those too.  (Did I mention I made white-on-black and black-on-white sets for the fresh meat?  Yeah, I did.  Yay me.)

My knee is bugging me this AM.  Sigh. I will have to ask Jeremy (my main PT guy. That's not his name, but he kinda looks like Jeremy Renner, so there y'go) on Tuesday if I can pretty pretty please with sugar on top start skating just a little tiny bit at practices.  I really want to try out my new skatesies.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012


so I went to team practice last night.  I brought my skates so I could use them as ankle weights for some of my exercises, but honestly they're so light it didn't really make much of a difference.

At one point I ended up sitting on the bench, holding and stroking one of them like I was Blofeld and it was a white cat.  Then I started calling them "MY PRECIOUSSSSSSSSSSSS".  Like I said above, sigh.

One of my teammates got new skates recently as well, and she had to take them off and put ice on her feet because they were hurting her so much.  I picked one up and was amazed at how heavy they were.  (They were Bont boots and some sort of plate with a jump bar.)  I hope they work out for her in the end.

On Wednesday I'm going to help out one of my teammates teach kids at her school how to skate, because their school is doing a production of Xanadu.  WHY COULDN'T WE HAVE DONE COOL STUFF LIKE THAT IN HIGH SCHOOL??!?!?!!!?!?!?!?  I won't be on skates, but hopefully they'll let me out on the rink and I can be encouraging and whatnot.

Monday, February 6, 2012


I had my second session of PT today. The first one was amusing, in that I learned that I have more range of motion in my injured knee than my non-injured one, and that the PT guy could tell that I skated while giving me a strength test of my legs.  Today I had to do stuff like balance on a foam piece and do step-ups and whatnot.

My knee does okay except during the step-downs.  Then, it hurts.

I'm still not back on skates yet; PT guy said I could go back once we get to running in PT (which we didn't do today; though I met with PT gal instead of PT guy so I didn't ask).  Hopefully I will be back on skates soon.

I really want to be on skates today because it's almost 50 degrees out and bright blue skies.  Waaaaaah!

Monday, January 30, 2012


I was at the stop light.  I look through the intersection and see the UPS truck parked in front of my house.

"C'MON, HURRY UP!!!!" I yell at the light.  It mocks me and does not change.  I seriously contemplating just running the light - nothing's coming.

FINALLY, the light changes.  I speed through and pull into my driveway, just as the UPS driver has finished attaching the "tried delivering; sorry!" car.

a Queen and her wheels; so happy together!
I already like the plates heaps more than my old ones.  Before I could *never* figure out how to keep my toe stops from spinning, so I'd just crank them down all the way and deal with it.  But now I can keep them a little lower and hold them in place with the allen wrench.  Yaaaay!

Now if I could only *skate* on them, I'd be all set.

Thursday, January 26, 2012


slightly sprained MCL and a contusion on my kneecap.

six weeks of PT twice a week should do the trick and then I can go live happily ever after.

And that last part is a DIRECT QUOTE from the ortho guy.


Wednesday, January 25, 2012

the waiting is the hardest part

so somewhere out there is an MRI of my knee with the results and I CAN'T FIND OUT UNTIL TOMORROW.

this makes for an unhappy Kicktoria.  I want to know what the verdict is NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW.


Thursday, January 19, 2012


Never had one before, so it was interesting.  I hadn't realized it would be as noisy as it was.

They didn't have to put me in the tube the whole way, which was cool - not because I'm claustrophobic, but because I could watch the timer and see how long until the RATTLERATTLERATTLEBANGBANGBANG stopped.  It's hard to believe how itchy one can get when forced to lie completely still.

At any rate, we'll see what the ortho guy says next week.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012


In the spirit of unbridled optimism, I went to Five Stride and ordered my skates.  Riedell 495 boots, Sure Grip Avenger plates, Radar Diamond wheels (either natural or red, she wasn't sure what was available).


I also bought a bearing press which was the envy of everyone who saw the picture I put up on Facebook.

My knee has been fine (hell, I walked around New York City for two days in a row) but there is the occasional OW WHAT THE FUCK pain if I turn it a certain way.  My MRI is this afternoon (I have to remember to remove all my ear piercings) and we'll see what they have to say.  Fingers crossed that it is nothing too horrific and I can use my NEW SKATES this season.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

well, *FUCK*

last night was the first travel team practice of the new year.   During one drill, I fell on the side of my left knee and felt something go "pop" or "sproing" or whatever onomatopoeia you prefer.  I skated off, put some ice on it, and felt okay a few minutes later, and started doing the drills again.  It bothered me when we did army crawls at the end, but beyond that I really didn't think twice about it.

When I was trying to fall asleep, however, it started really, really, really hurting.  This morning I couldn't bend my knee more than 45 degrees or so. It got better as the morning progressed, but I still couldn't get much past 90 without wincing and going OKAY THIS HURTS I'M GOING TO STOP NOW.

My PCP referred me to an orthopedic guy, and a few prods and bends and slightly humorous comments later ("ok, just relax your don't know how to relax, do you?") they think it's either my MCL or my meniscus.  I'm in a brace and have an MRI scheduled for the 17th.  I'm to do PT twice a week and I have a follow up appointment on the 26th.

As I said above, *FUCK*.

Monday, January 9, 2012

oh yeah, this is what it feels like

Six hours of derby practice yesterday (2.5 hours as standard Sunday AM practice, 3.5 hours with the fresh meat).

Three hours today (B team).


Saturday, January 7, 2012


I will post pics once I take the bandaging off, but they are super mega hella sweeeeet.

Edited to add!

This is about 1" x 2".  The wheels are purple and green for my home team and travel team.

I AM THE QUEEN AND THIS IS MY CROWN. It's about 3/4" x 1.5"