Tuesday, February 22, 2011

another thing to cross off the bucket list, I s'pose

the rink where we practice is unavailable to us this week because the kids are off and they're doing events for them, so we have to fend for ourselves.  Thursday we're all meeting to review the rules, but last night, for our regular team practice, we did....pole aerobics.

One of my teammates runs a studio, so we all went there and we she gave us a super mega ultra beginner's lesson.  I have no upper body strength, and now my arms are killing me.  And I am in awe of her abilities.

Thursday, February 17, 2011


yesterday I should've exercised.  I read Rick Springfield's autobiography instead.

Gaa. I have no motivation.  Well, I do (to get better at playing derby), but it doesn't translate into actually doing anything.  I just keep going back to last year, when I was a good little motor scooter and went to the gym three times a week, like clockwork, did all the stuff on all the machines, and it made fuck-all difference.  I didn't feel any different, I didn't look any different, I didn't get on the travel team.  Can't win, don't try.

Sigh.  And tonight's Thursday, so I can't go to practice.  Long story about that, now.

I really needed to go to practice a few weeks ago (so I could, y'know, scrimmage with my team before we bouted).  The rink where we practice states that you can't bring kids to practice unless they are supervised by someone over the age of 18.  People had, on occasion, ignored the rule and brought their kids to practice anyway, so I brought Maverick (and his DS), stuck him over in the corner where no one could see him, told him YOU MOVE AND YOU DIE (not really) and stayed for about an hour and a half, as the kid needed to go to bed.

Our stats guy noticed that Maverick was there by himself, called me on my ignoring the rule, but said he'd be happy to watch Maverick, I'd just need to ask.  So no harm, no foul. (For what it was worth, many skaters expressed surprise later when I told them he'd been there. "I didn't see him!" That was kinda the point.)

So last Thursday, it happened again (not me, I didn't go to practice 'cause I wasn't feeling well - someone else brought their kid) and it exploded into a drama spill on our message board.  The general end result was that it was kinda decided that every once in a great while, if no other arrangements can be made, kids can be brought to practice, if they're supervised by someone over the age of 18.

So, until Roy's bowling league is over, I'm only going to do that on Thursdays when I need to go.  (I don't *need* to go now, as we're not bouting until April and the attendance requirement is loosened.)  I still feel like a jerk, though, because I can't go scrimmage with my team and all that.

Which is leading me more and more into thinking that this will probably be my last season as a skater.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


So I frequent a knitting website that has a roller derby message board, and one of the members was talking about how an influx of warm weather has inspired her to think about outdoor skating. I was SO JEALOUS because it's been so frickin' cold the last, oh, FOUR MONTHS, and I know there's no way I'll be able to skate outside until, oh, MOST LIKELY MAY at the earliest.

Our neighborhood is pretty good for skating.  The area in which I live is sort of triangle-boundaried by three major roads, but all the roads in this triangle are fairly sedate, and they twist around a little, so you can go around and not see the same houses over and over and over.  The major roads all have nice traffic lights with good crosswalks, so if I get really bored I can cross at the intersection and find other sedate, slightly twisty roads.  Last summer Maverick would ride his bike and I'd skate around.

There's also a park behind the supermarket that's on the other side of one of those major roads, that has a nice 0.4 mile paved loop.  It's a little tricky in the fall when part of the loop is covered with leaves, but other than that it's a really nice place to skate.  There's a playground in the middle, so sometimes other leaguemates will bring their little kids and they'll play while we skate.

My biggest problem was figuring out how to carry my phone/wallet/keys/skate tool/whatever.  I'd have to wear things with lots of pockets.  The hip bag/fanny pack/whatever thing I got at Christmas will work WONDERS in that respect.

(Looking outside impatiently at the ice that's everywhere) HURRY UP! MELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLT!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


practice last night. My knee pads kept slipping ('cause I was wearing tights underneath which apparently compressed my legs enough) and I kept landing on the edges of the caps, OW GODDAMMIT.

In order to get over the lack of communication (that I mentioned last entry) we did a drill where we ran a full pack, two jammers and all that. However, only the pivots and the jammers could talk, and only the pivots could look behind them. Blockers could look laterally and in front only. So as pivot, I had to constantly give a running commentary on where the jammers were and who was near enough to help/hinder as the case may be. It felt like a total clusterfuck, but I kept talking as best I could.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

what sucks, what rules

here's where I talk about what I think I suck at in derby and what I think I rule at in derby.

I suck at....endurance. I spent the first 34 years of my life not doing anything sports-related, it's a tough inertia to break. I can't burst with speed, I can't blaze along at 175mph for a full jam, I just sort of have to chug along and pray that if/when I get knocked down, I can catch up.

I suck at....communication. I am the master of sound effects during practice (mostly screams of the OMFG I AM GOING TO CAREEN OUT OF CONTROL variety), but when it comes to actually telling people on the track what to do, I can't get the words from my brain to my mouth. Part of this is because my mouthguard isn't very conducive to talking, but part of it is that I just can't form the words. It ends up being "GARABARAHARALH I NEED YOU TO BE THERE ABOUT THREE SECONDS AGO."

I rule at...looking around. I'm constantly looking behind me, seeing where people are, where the jammers are, etc.

I rule at...observing when I or other people are out of play. If my players are chasing, I'll bridge. If the other team is chasing, I'll drop back. Stuff like that.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


so last night was our first practice after our GLORIOUS VICTORIES. Since we only have two coaches (Coach Dude and Coach Ref), it was decided that whatever team was not playing in the next bout would be on their own for the time before that bout. Since that's us, our captains ran last night's practice.

I figured we would not rest on our laurels, and I was right.

Things went fine and dandy until the last drill. We were supposed to skate fast pack, and if we couldn't keep up with Captainness Awesome, everyone stopped and did ten push-ups, then we had to start again.

A minute or two into the drill, plugging along and pushing along, I got this - bubble, for lack of a better word - in my chest. I knew that if I could just belch it out, I'd be fine, but I just. couldn't. 'Cause of this, I couldn't really take deep breaths, and I started freaking out that I was going to hyperventilate, and everyone around me is yelling at me to keep skating and not coast around the turns (my wheels were slipping and I was worried about wheel-locking someone) and it just kept going and going and the callus on my foot was screaming and I couldn't get a decent breath and everyone's yelling to keep moving my feet, and I felt like I was going to puke, and then sweet merciful heavens the drill was done and I sort of collapsed into a heap on the track. Eventually I was able to belch and things were okay. But good Lord, it really sucked.

But I didn't drop out. Yay for small victories.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

last night, yay!

So last night was thoroughly and completely awesome. To wit:

1. I did not have to deal with big bout production stuff. There were a few minor instances where I had to deal with stuff, and last year's Bout Production Manager and I were both like "why are we the ones dealing with this?" and then I went on.

2. We won both our games! (Our three home teams competed round-robin style; two thirty minute games, one against each team.)

3. Our captains agreed to a rule that if one team is leading by more than thirty points, they have to start switching up their lineups, etc. This is how I ended up jamming in the first game (and completed a pretty nifty star pass, if I do say so myself).

4. Apparently at one point in the second game I had a thoroughly awesome hit on the jammer. I didn't see where she ended up, but I ended up on the ground right in front of the penalty box and everyone seemed to be like OMFG THAT WAS FANTASTIC afterwards, so I guess it looked good.

So I'm super-duper happy now. :)

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Game face!!!!!



usually I spend the day of a bout freaking out over administrative stuff and running errands. not today! WheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeee :)

Friday, February 4, 2011


I am trying the new android app thang, we'll see if it works

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Great Moments in Stupidity, by Queen Kicktoria

I don't like wearing over-the-knee socks to practice because my legs get hot. I don't like wearing tights because my legs get hot (and the seams on the toe hurt after a while). I don't like wearing leggings because I don't like them. Therefore, I usually go bare-legged with short socks at practice.

Fast-forward to last night, at practice. I take a fall, and there's a huge SQUEAK. That SQUEAK is the sound of rink rash.


And I didn't even get a cool battle scar from it! It's just a little tiny red patch that hurts like hell. I never bruise, I never get rink rash. I never get anything cool to show off.


My blood blister/callus thing on my right foot is also acting up, mostly because I had to lace my skate very loosely to keep my toes from bugging me. I CAN'T WIN.

On the other hand, Stonyfield Oikos Greek yogurt with caramel? pure, unadulterated awesome.